New-Year’s Resolutions Are POINTLESS… kind of

WARNING: This might shock you.

The new year is upon us, and we, self-help folk, do not hesitate making our goals for the upcoming year. We have big dreams, we have strong desire to do great things with out life, we want to move the world in a direction of our choosing. We are the people with high aspirations, strong character and admirable willpower of getting things done.

At least, that’s what we believe to be true.

Ain’t it funny. As you’re reading this, I’m sure you’ve lost relationships over suddenly picking up a Tony Robbins book, which commanded you to set high goals and work insane hours on something that doesn’t even pay yet. Oh you know what I’m talking about. Many of us have alienated our friends and colleagues, even our own family just because they are having a hard time relating to us due to our ever-growing desire to be better than everyone else…

At least that’s how they’re defining our new way of being, which in fact, is all an act (I’ll get to this in a second).

Allow me to explain.

A person who gets into self-help does it for one reason and one reason only – to feel good about himself. We don’t get into self-help for money, for power, for women nor for fame – well, we think we do, but all that shit is just to feel good about our lives. You don’t get laid, so you google “how to get laid” and, determined by the strength of your desire, you begin to study the ways of picking up women.

Your perception of yourself tells you that you’re fat, so you google “how to lose weight” to find out how does one have abs, which is due to our society praising standard beauty of staying lean and healthy. Nature tells you to eat, however the society tells us otherwise. Which one is right is for you to choose, since ultimately there is no right or wrong answer.

There are just the things we do.

Being overweight causes early death rate, yet there is no way of saying whether that’s bad or good. You can say death is bad, yeah. Well, it might be so for you, but centuries ago men were praised for giving their life for their country, no mention of their fat percentage what so ever. In fact, that’s still the case even today.

It is not clear if getting laid is good or bad. All we know is the present-and aftereffects we get from getting laid, learning to do so and the act itself.

So I guess, what I really want to say with this post is this: When you set up your new year’s resolutions, take the things that we’ve talked about in this post into an account. Understand that you do not NEED to do anything, yet it sure feels good to do something. Take it into an account that even if you do decide to go for something much bigger than a normal 9-5 family guy would aspire to be, people, especially your colleagues, friends and family do not NEED to be like you. They do not NEED to have the same goals as you, they do not need to have high standards like you, and they sure do not NEED to even like you.

And for sure, you do not NEED to hold anybody’s life choices against anyone. Do yourself a favour and take people for who they are at the moment without any judgement. Your best friend could lose some weight? Maybe according to your standards, but since he is not taking any action just yet, then clearly not according to his. If the need is strong, one shall find a way without us, the self-help crazies pushing our loved ones into doing something they’re not quite ready for, perhaps never will be.

You can’t teach a pig to fly, since he can’t and will only get mad at you for trying to make him into something his not. You might be okay changing your persona, your values, your strengths and so forth, but maybe he is not. It is best to let people do what they want to do, and focus purely on your own life. Happiness guaranteed.

It would be great for you, AND for them, if they did.

Once again, the point that I’ve emphasised for years now…

Every-single-fucking-body is perfect right where he or she is right now in his or her god-given life. We don’t need to be liked, yet for our biological condition it feels great if we are. We don’t need to be healthy, yet it feels amazingly fantastic if we are able to move our bodies on a top athlete level. We do not need to get laid, but it feels so damn fantastic, so it would be wasting our time on this earth if we did not experience the awesomeness of sex. In fact, anything.

Done.

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Next Year Is Not Going To Save You

Who Is To Be Blamed For Your Misery?

I believe the biggest problem we have in our world today is not taking responsibility for our own life. We tend to let others control the paths that we are able to choose and even the choices that should be left for us to decide. It’s all coming from the state of insecurity and the lack of information, the right knowledge, the right education in our modern society. A big majority of us will blame everyone and everything before they get to the point of pointing a finger towards themselves. We think others are to be blamed for our current life situation. Our countries, laws, terrorists, bad and dishonest people and most of all, luck. Luck is the most commonly used excuse in the world we live in today. Sure, it does play a small part in it, but much more is about whether we let the right influence create us.

The new year is not going to save you. You alone are responsible for your own life and if you’re sitting around waiting for something or someone to come and save you, to fix you to even help you, you’re simply wasting your time. The sooner you realize that bad things happen to all of us at some point of our lives, but the way we react to them and what our attitude is like will make us or break us, the sooner you are able to enjoy life. Bad shit happens all the time and but as long as you keep blaming outside factors for your misery, you will never find any sort of relief, no improvement, no change and no happiness.

It does not matter where you come from. Just take a look around you. Look at all the successful people and what they had to go through to get there. It’s not luck, it’s not talent, it’s only their attitude towards life. They are willing to take responsibility for their own life. No matter what life throws at them, they will focus on what they can do to improve instead of looking other factors outside of themselves to blame. Yes, maybe you are not to blame, but you are the only one who is able to fix it.

I want you to really be aware of this. Whenever you notice yourself blaming something else for your misery no matter who or what it is, stop. Keep doing it untill your paradigm changes and you begin to see world and success in it for what it truly is.

Do it now or don’t do it at all.

An Ode Towards Enlightenment

What is a man who has no life objectives? Who goes to school, work, or other?

He hates it.

And yet,

When he comes back home from school work, or other, the whole world changes, to a beautiful place of heaven.

But,

What must a man do to keep it that way. The man knows that his heaven is in danger. Because work wants to follow him back home, terrorizing in every way mentally possible.

Suddenly,

The man loses his heaven and desperately tries to get it back,

By ignoring his work he must do.

Then,

The man realizes the angels in his little heaven are turning into wild demons. And then, the man has lost any will there was left to live.

Because only hell remains. And the only place where he felt alive,

Is now a prison. Just like like school or work or other once before.

The man is filled with anger, hatred and sadness. He starts ignoring people. He gets easily angry. And looks for a fight.

The man was once a kind and quiet little boy.

But now,

He is a ball filled with hate and sadness.

He lives day by day in his cold and dark world.

When one day he realizes there is no point to life, no point in living.

He realizes that if there is no point in living, then there is no point in dying.

He is starting to become a depressed nihhilist.

Then, one day, he started doing his homework, his work.

And then, suddenly, the world became a little bit brighter.

He felt the angels he had long since forgotten.

And as time went on,

The man saw that this world as not cold and dark,

But as a vibrant landscape of colors.

Then the man realized

There never was a hellish place to go to everyday

But a place just as any other place.

Just a place where he had to go.

The places where you go are the places you think they are.”

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How To Be Enlightened

I’m here to talk about an idea that spiritual gurus such as OSHO, Sadhguru and others have severely emphasized in their talks with their followers, and that is…

If you’re searching for enlightenment, then enlightenment cannot be the goal, or you’ll never reach it.

Basically, what these wonderful teachers (I love them, don’t get me wrong) are saying is that you cannot persist enlightenment as a goal, since by using your energy to focus on this extremely subtle concept you’ll actually be drifting away from the answer you’re working so hard to reach towards. In many ways I find it to be completely true, but truly think about it…

This type of answer won’t get you anywhere, or at least most of us who hear this will not understand this idea, therefore end up not reach that spiritual milestone, well, ever.

So what’s my approach on enlightenment and how does one achieve it?

First of all, I would have never reached any kind of happiness if I had heard this “drop your goals to achieve them” advice in the first place. Okay, let’s be honest, I would have most likely still pursued with my dreams, but let’s just say for the sake of an argument that I hadn’t.

Therefore,

I would have not tried. I would have stayed without any social experience what so ever, I would have ended up getting a pointless job that I did not like in any way due to my parents “helpful” guidance. More like tyranny, if you let me be so blunt.

All that being said, do believe dropping all that “self-improvement” bullshit is still the key to a successful and happy life, but only AFTER one has tried the approach of being a total workaholic whose entitlement, self-esteem and confidence is determined by their ego, of how much they achieve and how far they get in their career ladder, how big they get their muscles and how many women do they sleep with.

I truly believe one must go through hell to get to the higher ground, and to skip hell will leave such a grand gap in your personal development journey that reaching enlightenment (if that’s even possible) will be completely impossible.

So, in conclusion…

Work first, realize you don’t need to work at all in the first place later. In my mind, according to my experiences and the experience of my mentors all together (we’re standing on the shoulders of giants here) this is the most optimal way to go about this.

But, do what you like.

Thing that has really helped me through my difficult youth – medidation.

Meditation, the importance of it and how to. – Click here.

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In case no one has told you this…

In case no one has told you this:

“It is okay to walk away, if that’s what You decide to do.”

It’s about your journey, not anybody else’s nor their expectations for you. Your life is not supposed to be accepted by somebody’s standards. All that matters is whether you’re living up to your own values.

That’s all there ever is.

For instance, if you decide to quit school because of something that YOU believe in, because of some other dream or goal that matters more to you, then by all means, go ahead and do it.

If you decide to quit your fitness goals because it’s not in your interests to look perfect, but you’ve been doing it to impress other people, then by all means, quit, unless impressing others is part of your value system.

If you decide to block your relatives on Facebook and never talk to your parents again because of reasons that hold great value in your eyes, because you have a good enough reason to do so, then by all means, do so.

Forget society’s standards that it has set for us. Forget the norm. Forget someone else’s dreams that hold great importance to him, but fail to do so in your reality. Forget this people pleaser concept that we must suffer in order to satisfy the will of other people.

Do you think we should suffer our years away doing something we don’t value just so our parents could brag to their hypocritical friends and colleagues that their child is a medical student, a well-respected athlete or a rich business man?

Do you think we should throw our lives away just so that the other person could get a small dopamine boost for a second or two?

Do you think it is worth it?

Another important concept for you to realize here is that a smart person understands this idea.

A smart person understands that these small dopamine spikes are not happiness.

A smart person understands reality, that if you only live for these small moments, then your sh*t is broken.

A smart person realizes that life is not about living for the weekends, yet it’s also not about not living for the weekends.

A smart person, surprisingly, is also a good person, who understands life.

Funny enough, knowledge can cure every disease in our world starting from the main source – stupidity.

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Motivation Is Bullshit

(A really short post to really hammer this into your brain once and for all.)

Motivation is bullshit

All that motivation ever does is it reinforces the belief of you being a lazy fucker that needs motivation to get the ball going. Chasing abundance from scarcity mindset does not work, since it can drop at any second and you’ll end up going back to the beginning.

But,

How about you drop the paradigm of being a lazy individual and think of yourself as a highly functional being with endless potential? Therefore, you stop needing motivation and you’ll start accomplishing goals simply because you can.

As long as you’re operating in a paradigm of scarcity, you’ll never have abundance.

There isn’t just one tomato for everyone, ya know. Happiness is a default state within us.

Let’s say you’re in LA and someone gives you a map of Detroit. Now it does not matter how much you work, you won’t just figure out where you’re at by using that map, because the map is wrong. Same with paradigms and to really achieve your goals, you must switch your mental map. Are you coming from “I don’t have it yet, but I will if I work” , or are you coming from a “I already have it” type of mindset. Now just to be clear, many things in life we do have to work for and we are not just able to assume that we already have it, but every single thing such as this is ALWAYS external such as money, fame, luxury goods and so forth. External things are never needed, or at least to a very small degree, such as food and shelter, but the things that ACTUALLY make us feel good are all internal, and those are we able to have instantly when we switch our paradigms.

Happiness is not based on external values.

Joy comes from within.

To achieve external values one does have to work, but it’s not because he wants to be hapy, but because he already is happy and enjoys the fruits of labor.

Guys…

It’s not that hard to understand.

I hope this short article answers your question and helps you to get out of this rat race that we call motivation seeking and start accomplishing great things simply because you are able to. Simply because that’s your new identity. Simply because you’re a badass now, that’s dominating his or her own path in life.

No more motivation needed.

Therefore though, how does one be happy without needing anything?

Check out my happiness manifesto for this true answer, my friend.

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Your Friends Are NOT Your Friends

The question is –

Who Are Your True Friends?

Many of us answer to this questions with names such as Mark, Alex, Dima, whatever. But are they really your friends? If you check the definition for the word „friend“, you’ll find „a person who you like and enjoy being with.” Yes, in this case these people who you just mentioned might actually be your friends. But there is another definition. A friend is a person who helps or supports someone or something. This is the breaking point. The people you care the most of, are they helping you to reach your goals or are they rather dragging you down and telling you all the ways your dream can’t work out?

Let’s use the example of a friend that I had. Let’s call him Mike. I used to be fat, almost to the point of obesity. Mike was not as fit himself, but he was definitely not as fat as I was. One day I decided to lose weight and become healthy. Mike pushed me and loaded me up with courage, told me yes I should. He was literally calling me fat so he could feel better about himself. This gave me strength to really go through with it and lose about 40 pounds. I was really healthy and even saw my abs for the first time in my life. When Mike saw me and my success, he began to draw distance from me and even saying I’ve changed. „You’re too much of an asshole“, he said. After hearing that I felt sadness. Not because of what he said about me, but because of the fact that you could see the jealousy in his eyes. We all get jealous sometimes, but the way he did it… he was determined to bring me down rather improving himself just like I did. He could not call me a friend anymore, because every time he saw me, he remembered how he has failed to take action in his life. Mike started avoiding me to protect his small little world from crumbling down.

Later in life I had a realisation with everything else I did that most of the people I knew started to avoid me because of all their failures I reminded them by just being in their sight. You can say that I was cocky. You can say that I was full of myself. Yes. When somebody with a bad stuttering problem loses over 40 pounds and becomes extremely fit, sleeps with hundreds of girls in few years while the other dude struggles to get even one their entire life, writes a book at a very young age and makes more money than all his friends, then yes, you do feel like you are better than other people. What else do you call someone who creates the will to better himself despite of most of his friends just drinking their lives away, playing video games and doing absolutely nothing to get smarter. I would call it a better man. A more successful man. And with success, confidence follows. And confidence is easily mistaken for being an asshole.

Most of the people I knew, I can’t call them friends anymore. I would still hang out with them and for the love of everything in the world, I’d LOVE to help them anyway I can, but they were not supportive, they tried so hard to keep me in the world of mediocrity. They were not my real friends.

I want you to think about your life and the people you spend time with. If they are not supporting you in your goals, just cut them loose. They will keep you down permanently if you let them. You can come back later and help them, but while you’re struggling so hard and need all the help you can get, removing all the people who are negative towards you will help a lot. If you stay on the path of self-development, you’ll meet great people who support each other, because your change will motivate and inspire them. It’s a beneficial for all of you. Besides, it’s in human nature to support each other. Only fools will try to push someone who is actually trying, away just to save themselves from reality and work.

If you’re someone who is ambitious, eager to learn and determined to reach your goals in life, then be kind and treat people with respect. Motivate them when they need it the most and be there for them during dark times. Those, who don’t treat you that way back, cut them loose.

Simple.

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