Some awesome and totally relevant George Carlin quotes to get this post rolling…
“If you’re looking for self-help, why would you read a book written about somebody else? That’s help. “
“This country could use a little less motivation. The people who are motivated are the ones who are causing all the trouble.”
And you’re reading a self-help blog.
Anyway, let’s dive in:
The idea of self-help is mesmerizing. The purpose of it is however dodgy, capitalistic, pyramid scheme like money pit, that is not really focused on getting you the results.
Authors of self help books, programs and video blogs are often more focused on personal gain instead of seeing their clients succeed. For sure, the feeling of helping others reach their goals and see their life get better from their and your perspective is usually very rewarding and will make us feel that diddly warm feeling inside.
“I am doing something meaningful! I matter! I’m making the world a better place! “
Sure, bro, sure.
Let me ask you this:
Why do these clients need a reason to change in the first place? Because the provider of these life-changing (they really can be life changing, I ain’t about to take this away) programs, events and blogs inject you with the feeling of lack in the first place.
“Have you ever had a girlfriend?”
Usually directed to guys who are soon to be full-time adults or have had a socially awkward childhood. So, given their circumstances – how could they even have time to think about having a freaking girlfriend while all this other anxiety shit is going on in their life.
“No? Yeah, let me tell you why and how you can change that.”
Insert motivational picture of a guy with multiple women to create jealousy and desperation for more.
It is my experience that guys who really want a girlfriend actually work towards that goal, despite the hardships. Guys such as these find books on their own, ask around from their dad-like figures, look it up online or copy their favourite movie character persona even if it does not work the way they hope. Even if the first year is total bullshit and progress is close to zero, these experiences will teach them what to not do, how to not act and which ways don’t work.
Point being – progress is being made despite not having the right tools at first, if natural need is there in first place.
The guys who do not work towards the goal do not really consider not having a girlfriend such a problem right now. Sure, they’d say yes to the opportunity, but is it something to be stressed about each day? No, not really. They’re living in a bubble (that gets criticised a lot by self-help community these days), having personal shortcomings for sure, but not stressed out about it and the main point – being happy regardless.
Until someone with smart sounding facts and A level production in their video blogs points it out, making fun over it, shaming, judging – basically bullying in a nutshell.
What these gurus are doing is firstly they create a need inside you to be like the persona they are projecting on screen.
“Hey, have you ever thought about how shitty your life is without this one thing? Ever felt you deserve more, even if it’s just that one time 12 years ago? “
Well, now you are thinking about it. Now you are feeling as if you’re not enough and begin to cultivate a desperate need towards the life these gurus project.
Do you see how they work? Self-help programs are designed to make you feel like shit at first so you would step out of your comfortable shell (which is perfectly fine to be in if it did not bother you), and begin to spend big money on three day seminars that are designed to get you results. Will they though? Probably yeah, but this is not the point.
The point is that you were fine without having this desperate need to constantly better yourself. At that given time you were fine with your middle class wage. You were fine banging a chick every now and then and not worry about your image. You were fine, enjoying life, going about it at your own pace.
Insert the guru who fucks up your moju and drags your self-esteem down to the gutter by constantly flexing into your face.
Hey, maybe he is right because I haven’t made that extra 10k each year. I could buy so much more shit with it. Maybe I am the definition of a loser without working like Steve Jobs not trying to be the next innovator of my generation.
The thing is – if everyone was like Steve Jobs, there would literally be no more jobs. We’d all have our own businesses, we’d work 80 hours a week never seeing our families and even if we did, we’d be a dick about them wasting our precious time. There would not be any big companies since everyone are working for themselves and are too cool to be a slave to the corporate landlords. We’d never make it to the mountain top because mountain tops do not exist without mountains. This is not how being a human works in our day and age, mate.
Did you even need the extra 10k at first?
It is always nice to have some extra lying around, but you weren’t thinking about it! Everything was going just fine.
The key is to have this sense of security be based on internal values, not external, because this is the only way life can feel meaningful and fulfilling. It’s the ultimate map to freedom.
Here’s another thing about self-help. Ever been to those seminars that pump up people, get you to say shit together like typical brainwashing session? Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. What do these gatherings tell you? And let’s be really honest here with ourselves.
They tell us the same stuff over and over again. Motivated people get done more because they have a drive inside, reading books makes you see different perspectives and therefore more eligible to new ideas, getting women is about social awareness and confidence that’s both created by the very same thing – taking action. What else do we really need to know at this point? All the answers are right here at your disposal.
What about those people who attend countless of seminars month in- month out?
A proper name for these individuals would be self-help junkies. Deep down despite all the knowledge accumulated throughout these seminars they still believe in magic pills and put off taking action. There really is no solution for someone who is not eager to sacrifice comfort for progress. I learned this the hard way.
I don’t believe in self-help.
I do believe in creating skill-sets, letting go of negative energy/past trauma. I do believe in taking care of yourself, learning new skills and improving old ones that apply to your need and liking.
I do believe in growth. I believe in living to your potential and enjoying life to the fullest.
In order to get to where you want to get one must simply do. If you’re already there – hell, you’ve made it.
Enjoy while life lasts.
Insert a hippie bus that symbolises free will and peace.
See y’all soon.