WARNING: This might shock you.
The new year is upon us, and we, self-help folk, do not hesitate making our goals for the upcoming year. We have big dreams, we have strong desire to do great things with out life, we want to move the world in a direction of our choosing. We are the people with high aspirations, strong character and admirable willpower of getting things done.
At least, that’s what we believe to be true.
Ain’t it funny. As you’re reading this, I’m sure you’ve lost relationships over suddenly picking up a Tony Robbins book, which commanded you to set high goals and work insane hours on something that doesn’t even pay yet. Oh you know what I’m talking about. Many of us have alienated our friends and colleagues, even our own family just because they are having a hard time relating to us due to our ever-growing desire to be better than everyone else…
At least that’s how they’re defining our new way of being, which in fact, is all an act (I’ll get to this in a second).
Allow me to explain.
A person who gets into self-help does it for one reason and one reason only – to feel good about himself. We don’t get into self-help for money, for power, for women nor for fame – well, we think we do, but all that shit is just to feel good about our lives. You don’t get laid, so you google “how to get laid” and, determined by the strength of your desire, you begin to study the ways of picking up women.
Your perception of yourself tells you that you’re fat, so you google “how to lose weight” to find out how does one have abs, which is due to our society praising standard beauty of staying lean and healthy. Nature tells you to eat, however the society tells us otherwise. Which one is right is for you to choose, since ultimately there is no right or wrong answer.
There are just the things we do.
Being overweight causes early death rate, yet there is no way of saying whether that’s bad or good. You can say death is bad, yeah. Well, it might be so for you, but centuries ago men were praised for giving their life for their country, no mention of their fat percentage what so ever. In fact, that’s still the case even today.
It is not clear if getting laid is good or bad. All we know is the present-and aftereffects we get from getting laid, learning to do so and the act itself.
So I guess, what I really want to say with this post is this: When you set up your new year’s resolutions, take the things that we’ve talked about in this post into an account. Understand that you do not NEED to do anything, yet it sure feels good to do something. Take it into an account that even if you do decide to go for something much bigger than a normal 9-5 family guy would aspire to be, people, especially your colleagues, friends and family do not NEED to be like you. They do not NEED to have the same goals as you, they do not need to have high standards like you, and they sure do not NEED to even like you.
And for sure, you do not NEED to hold anybody’s life choices against anyone. Do yourself a favour and take people for who they are at the moment without any judgement. Your best friend could lose some weight? Maybe according to your standards, but since he is not taking any action just yet, then clearly not according to his. If the need is strong, one shall find a way without us, the self-help crazies pushing our loved ones into doing something they’re not quite ready for, perhaps never will be.
You can’t teach a pig to fly, since he can’t and will only get mad at you for trying to make him into something his not. You might be okay changing your persona, your values, your strengths and so forth, but maybe he is not. It is best to let people do what they want to do, and focus purely on your own life. Happiness guaranteed.
It would be great for you, AND for them, if they did.
Once again, the point that I’ve emphasised for years now…
Every-single-fucking-body is perfect right where he or she is right now in his or her god-given life. We don’t need to be liked, yet for our biological condition it feels great if we are. We don’t need to be healthy, yet it feels amazingly fantastic if we are able to move our bodies on a top athlete level. We do not need to get laid, but it feels so damn fantastic, so it would be wasting our time on this earth if we did not experience the awesomeness of sex. In fact, anything.
My book on how to achieve sexual mastery as a man.
My book on everything there is to know about different life’s philosophies.