Perhaps the easiest way to get a girlfriend and to connect with humans in general in such manner of which they see you as the most charismatic, open and fun person in the world is to actually GIVE A SHIT about others.
Don’t get me wrong here, not giving a fuck is the most powerful idea in the world, but this idea does not revolve around the idea of not giving a fuck about anything, instead it’s about giving a fuck about the right things.
For instance you might get mad over some sleazy salesman scamming you or a homeless person trashing your car. The best option would be to not give a shit about it, therefore have no emotional outbreak. You’d be like “Okay, that’s pretty fucked up and the person that did this is a motherfucker, but fuck it, I ain’t mad.” But to not give a shit about anything means godlike nihilism and hedonism, which in turn will fuck up your life. Drugs, sex and endless alcohol. Might seem fun, but that shit gets old and once you realize this, then it’s too late. But do what you like man, really.
Always try to put yourself into the shoes of others. People are not NPC’s, there’e people, with their own ideas and perceptions. Try to understand what he or she is all about, try to understand that she is also a human – as are you. She is not some goddess that needs godlike treatment. She is not special. She is not a unique snowflake. We are all different, and yet the same. We are all the same meat bags that walk the earth, or as Tyler would say, we are the same compost heap, the all dancing all singing crap of the world. Each and every one of us unique in our own way, yet from an outsider’s perspective the same ant as that guy that’s standing right next to you.
Try to somewhat immerse yourself mentally and emotionally into someone else’s point of view. Be compassionate, yet live your life for you anyway. Projection is key.
That girl you find to be the most attractive girl in the world is not her looks. She is not her bank account. She is not her tight yoga pants. She is not her trimmed amazing looking butt muscles. She is not special because every single guy out there tries to hit on her. She’s a simple human, and as with humans the thing always is – we’re flawed. We take a shit every day. No matter how cool you are, at some point of the day you’re sitting on a toilet trying to squeeze one out while looking overly funny and ridiculous. It’s all natural.
The idea is to put yourself in the other person, and I do not mean this literally, even though this is a dating blog for men. Try to understand the girl, the guy, your parents, your boss or whoever might be in your life. Try to see the world through her eyes. Try to realize why she thinks in such way. Try to see how her thought process works. Once you do that, it’s easy to realize that no person is good or bad. We are just either ego thriven or love thriven, and this last part is in tremendous minority. If you’re ego thriven, then you’ll be just like everyone else that’s trying to gain from other’s disadvantage, some being subtle about it and some open. If you’re love thriven – well, you’ll be the next Buddha.
So how to get a girlfriend, that’s the main question of this post, believe it or not.
Simply. Care. About. Others.
Care about other people, care about their perspective, try to understand it, but on the flip side also try to disconnect your own emotions from their doings. Their actions might be selfish, utterly stupid and maybe even evil, but once you understand where their deeds are coming from, you won’t be mad at all. Have the decency to see humans as humans. If you do that, then your insecurity, you putting women on a pedestal, any kind of criticising and putting others down will be a mere history. You’ll be the man who’s real, who doesn’t fall onto his knees in front of a girl begging for validation. You will be grounded in your own energy and also have this incredible sense of empathy for others, the healthy kind which does not fuck up your emotional state whenever you see or hear about stranger’s death. You’ll be the high value guy.
Understanding and projecting is the key to life. Wisdom is power.
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