Your Friends Are NOT Your Friends

The question is –

Who Are Your True Friends?

Many of us answer to this questions with names such as Mark, Alex, Dima, whatever. But are they really your friends? If you check the definition for the word „friend“, you’ll find „a person who you like and enjoy being with.” Yes, in this case these people who you just mentioned might actually be your friends. But there is another definition. A friend is a person who helps or supports someone or something. This is the breaking point. The people you care the most of, are they helping you to reach your goals or are they rather dragging you down and telling you all the ways your dream can’t work out?

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Let’s use the example of a friend that I had. Let’s call him Mike. I used to be fat, almost to the point of obesity. Mike was not as fit himself, but he was definitely not as fat as I was. One day I decided to lose weight and become healthy. Mike pushed me and loaded me up with courage, told me yes I should. He was literally calling me fat so he could feel better about himself. This gave me strength to really go through with it and lose about 40 pounds. I was really healthy and even saw my abs for the first time in my life. When Mike saw me and my success, he began to draw distance from me and even saying I’ve changed. „You’re too much of an asshole“, he said. After hearing that I felt sadness. Not because of what he said about me, but because of the fact that you could see the jealousy in his eyes. We all get jealous sometimes, but the way he did it… he was determined to bring me down rather improving himself just like I did. He could not call me a friend anymore, because every time he saw me, he remembered how he has failed to take action in his life. Mike started avoiding me to protect his small little world from crumbling down.

Later in life I had a realisation with everything else I did that most of the people I knew started to avoid me because of all their failures I reminded them by just being in their sight. You can say that I was cocky. You can say that I was full of myself. Yes. When somebody with a bad stuttering problem loses over 40 pounds and becomes extremely fit, sleeps with hundreds of girls in few years while the other dude struggles to get even one their entire life, writes a book at a very young age and makes more money than all his friends, then yes, you do feel like you are better than other people. What else do you call someone who creates the will to better himself despite of most of his friends just drinking their lives away, playing video games and doing absolutely nothing to get smarter. I would call it a better man. A more successful man. And with success, confidence follows. And confidence is easily mistaken for being an asshole.

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Most of the people I knew, I can’t call them friends anymore. I would still hang out with them and for the love of everything in the world, I’d LOVE to help them anyway I can, but they were not supportive, they tried so hard to keep me in the world of mediocrity. They were not my real friends.

I want you to think about your life and the people you spend time with. If they are not supporting you in your goals, just cut them loose. They will keep you down permanently if you let them. You can come back later and help them, but while you’re struggling so hard and need all the help you can get, removing all the people who are negative towards you will help a lot. If you stay on the path of self-development, you’ll meet great people who support each other, because your change will motivate and inspire them. It’s a beneficial for all of you. Besides, it’s in human nature to support each other. Only fools will try to push someone who is actually trying, away just to save themselves from reality and work.

If you’re someone who is ambitious, eager to learn and determined to reach your goals in life, then be kind and treat people with respect. Motivate them when they need it the most and be there for them during dark times. Those, who don’t treat you that way back, cut them loose.

Simple.

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