Warning! This post might save your dating life.
Anyway, let’s begin…
When I was new to the dating world, not knowing what sparks attraction within a woman, thinking looks matter and therefore starting to work out, trying to get myself down to a low body fat percentage just so that women would approve of me and sexually want to be with me, I had major troubles with getting girls to actually like me. Needless to say I did achieve my fitness goals and looked freaking amazing without a shirt, but the results with women did not add up. Due to this I made a powerful discovery –
When trying to find a girlfriend, your look does not matter. On women it does, and loads! On men, not so much (I’ll get into this in a second).
Now, let’s talk about the quality of girls. If you want a woman of higher quality, let’s say someone who works out and is winning in business, relationships… a woman who’s an overall winner, do looks matter? A little, yet nothing crucial.
Same with money. Does it matter? A little, yet nothing crucial.
Ultimately what makes a woman be attracted to a man is who that man is. No, I’m not talking about what that man does for a living or what status he holds in the eyes of our society, I’m talking about who that guy ACTUALLY is.
In my mind there are four pillars of attraction and by having them all properly balanced out you’ll be the most perfect guy she could find.
Nothing is more attractive than a guy who has a drive in life and who’s working on himself as a person.
This is when you’ve set a specific goal for yourself in life, knowing where to go and actually taking action and going there! This is when you know what you’re about and are not afraid to show it. Keep it fun, keep it lighthearted since the girl will not be attracted if you keep trying qualify yourself by sharing your goals and telling her how she should like you just because you have a goal. Not at all. Figure out what your life is about, set a goal for yourself whether it’s long-term or short-term, doesn’t matter, and then interact with the girl as if you did not care whether she finds out that you’re man of purpose or not. By doing so you’ll be purposeful almost automatically simply due to having the proper inner game sorted out before the approach.
Also, the girl will not fuck you if you do not take the conversation as a foreplay for sex. Since that’s what it is. Act with her as if you’re a man and she’s a woman and you’re both horny as fuck, yet there are social norms that prevent you two from fucking right then and there. Know as if you both are totally willing to fuck, but not yet. Do not try to win her over, already believe that you’ve won.
Besides, who the fuck would have the balls to actually approach with a sober head and then make it work? Almost no-one. So take some fucking pride in that. By being in self-help, by improving and focusing on learning more about life, having that as your main priority so to say, you’re already on the top. Money and good looks won’t change that. Your perception, in other words the way you view yourself however does!
By approaching, realize that girls want to meet a sex-worthy guy, and then there’s you providing that opportunity for them.
Therefore, have a purpose for your own life AND know why you’ve just approached that girl you’re talking to. If it’s for sexual purposes, own it. If it’s to just make a new friend, own it. Girls will be whatever you like them to be, if you’re grounded and real in your intentions while being able to show some empathy and realize what’s going on so that your extreme masculinity would not scare them away.
Control the interaction. Think of yourself as a tree whereas the girl is the squirrel running around the tree. It’s the rule of being in reaction versus being grounded. If you want to have sex with a girl, you need to be the tree while she is being the squirrel. Whoever is reacting to the other more is the one that’s being controlled. And if the guy is being controlled by the girl, he’ll lose his sex-worthiness. Simple as that.
Also have an alignment in your thoughts, words and actions. If you’re out there approaching girls just with the sole purpose of having sex, own it up and act like it. This does not mean to be like a dog and chase girls, just assume every girl in the venue has already seen you and wants to have sex with you and now it’s time for you to choose. In other words – view yourself as a fucking god.
Is it realistic? Fuck no, but does it have some truth to it? Fuck yes. By improving yourself as a man and moving towards better understanding of our world you’re on the top, therefore one of the most sex-worthy guys out there. Having a STRONG sense of your own reality, whatever that might be. And is that far away from being a god? Hell no.
Act like a rock-star and get treated like one. You don’t even have to back it up, that’s the beauty about psychology and game. The one who has the strongest frame, wins. In the girls eyes you can be whoever you want to be.
Girls want a guy that’s alive, in his prime, on top of his shit, going places, has certainty, goes through life with ease, knows where he’s going. She wants a guy that’s potent and in his fucking prime.
You will be meeting tons of girls when you go out. By meeting more people you’ll become more at ease with your interactions. You’ll be in this state of flow where talking to people and getting sex at the end of the night with a girl you like seems effortless. You’ll be in the zone, so to say.
Talk to everyone, sleep with the ones you like and learn from EVERYBODY. Even the guys that are trying to game and are competing with you. Learning is KEY.
Also, keep in mind that a girl is not a goddess. Snap out of that illusion, all girls are human just like you. They have families, they have issues, they are insecure, they try to be cool, they are living their own fucking life and are by NO MEANS perfect. She is the same value as you on a ground level, and if you’re a hardcore go-getter who’s eager to learn from everyone, your value will be even much higher!
And that’s okay. Accept everyone for what they are, you can be playfully judgemental yet never quite mean it (don’t call an actual fat person fat and so on). Accept people for what they are since they’re all fighting their own battles, big or small. Have some respect for that.
Anyway, flowing. Take it easy, there’s no need to rush things. Know that everything will work out eventually if you just keep at it. Come from an abundant mindset. Don’t let anything disturb your peace. Consistent meditation is of tremendous help here.
Act like a rock-star and you’ll be treated like one. Act like a rock-star and everyone will assume you’re one. Simple.
Whenever you go out, fun is such an important element. And I’m not talking about drinking, playing Pokemon with friends, sex or board games. I’m talking about having fun on your own, seeing the light side in everything that comes in your way and embracing the chaos, creating fun vibes out of nothing simply because you’re a giving person who loves to share good vibes.
Share good vibes! Be positive! Be the guy who’s good mood cannot be broken! Be like fucking Tom Cruise, the most positive guy ever!
Only you can determine your own entitlement. You see a hot girl, you feel approach anxiety yet you go anyway – that there defines you! It’s not the smile you get from the girl or the sex or any other validation you receive. It’s your own perception.
If I could summarise my whole book on dating for men, this would be it. 200 000 words said in 1500 words. But, it won’t just cover EVERYTHING you need. It just cannot be done.
This article just exposes you to the main concept of sexual attraction.
So, once again:
Want to go deeper?
Have a strong desire to find out more about women?
Do you happen to identify yourself as a guy who’s willing and passionate and won’t give up?