Self-Development And Why It Destroys Your Relationships

Hear me out.

Ever since I got into self-development, a certain need to switch social circles has come up. What do I mean by this? It all comes down to an old law of nature –

A wolf cannot hang with the sheep. 


It just does not happen. In self-development and especially in this blog we teach you to get along with people and be a nice person in general, but as long as it does not take away from your progress. Believe it or not, but improving yourself and trying to reach a greater level will do just that. You see, old friends are friends with your old self. They “fell in love” with the person that you were years ago back when you met them. But now, if you’re constantly going to seminars, listening to educational Joe Rogan podcasts (which are amazing by the way) and working your way up to become smarter, stronger and more beautiful in every way, then you’re simply not that same old Bob that you used to be. You’re simply not.

As humans we’re in constant change at all times. Day by day we get a bit better, bit more advanced in our craft, move a bit more further towards our goals. Even if we do not have goals, we float. Even by floating we are getting somewhere, we just don’t know where exactly. Point being – we are never staying in the same place.


The thing about me is that I care too much (good joke I know). I really do. I want the best for my friends and since self-development has been such a great tool for me, it’d e natural for me to try to get my friends into that shit as well.

But what happens if you try to teach a pig to fly? First of all – it won’t work since the pig wants to be a pig at this given moment and does not care for criticism since staying the same is the safe route to take. Remember that everything that’s uncertain and unknown arises anxiety in humans, because it is scary. In the old caveman days if you happened to be in a place you did not know that well, then there was a great chance that you’d die since you did not know if there are bears around, if there is water near and so forth. Still to this day we have those roots deep within us, trying to guide us and keep us safe from the non-existent threat. Oh and on top of teaching a pig to fly, the pig will also get mad at you for yanking on him. Funny, eh.

Where am I trying to go with this story?




You can probably guess by now. A wise man once said:

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

We can only educate those who are eager to learn. Better yet, we can only educate those who are ready to learn.

And on top of this…

You can try to educate people all you like, but at the end of the day – if you’re not happy, then it’s not worth it.

A healthy dose of narcissism is mandatory for a happy life. No martyr has ever been happy. 
But if you do decide to ruin your own life in order to save someone else’s, just keep this one thing in mind – we experience life through our own experiences, our own body, our own self-perception. An other person being happy or not is actually not really your concern. Help if you can, but do not stress over it or even worse – ruin your own life to pet a burning dog.
Related posts:

Do your friends hate you?

Relationship that will last for ever


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s