Most people go through life in a walking daze. We are just reacting to stuff, having no specific clue about what activity, thought or even road to pick up or in other words – embark on. We all just are and whatever happens, happens. We deal with it as we go along. It’s not just the conditioning of our society, but also the biological drives and the chemical reactions in our brains.
This concept, the whole idea of going with the flow and dealing with bullshit as it comes up right then and there is most certainly not the reason for our unhappiness and misery. Far from it. I believe this idea to be the healthiest way to live, not constantly fighting against the current and picking fights that are not optimal for our personal growth and most importantly – our own personal level of happiness. Going with the flow is exactly what the most optimal thing for us to do really is.
It’s everything that the success motivation gurus fight against. They tell you to seize the day, to be the most productive worker at your workplace without wasting a single second on being lazy, laid back and enjoying the moment. What they are basically telling you is to be the best, and fuck the rest. They are teaching you to become the greatest, they are showing you the mindset that brings those grand results, that undying will of pushing through and establishing your own rules in life that other people soon be playing around with. They teach you in many ways to become a god that creates his own world, his own way of life and makes other people dance around by those very same rules he himself once tried to escape from by creating his own for others to do the same. It’s the rule of kill or be killed. They teach you the ways of becoming a wolf instead of rolling around as a sheep, a mindless drone who can only take orders and has no brain capacity to think for himself and figure out what really makes this life a worthwhile experience. And there is nothing wrong with this apart from this small little idea that this whole philosophy is based on. This particular paradigm is simply to say – owning a small defect.
As you can see, these two philosophies are completely different in their very own nature. One is a way of a sheep and the other one is the way of a wolf. The biggest thing these two have in common is that they’re operating on the same paradigm. Difference is that one is in the bottom while the other one is at the top. Remember how I mentioned that the way of the sheep is the most optimal way for us to live? That’s not what I meant. I said the healthiest way for us to live is to go with the flow, there is nothing about being a sheep. Yet, everyone else are telling you to be the best. Who is right? Which one of these ideas is really the grand revelation that will bring us all back to peace with ourselves just like in ancient times, without any certain society, rules nor social acceptance? The answer is simple. Neither. As long as your paradigm is fixed on becoming something else to feel better or to stay in your very own spot and be dependent on smarter people to make tough choises for you just so you could relax and ease this mental pressure of yours, true happiness is really not in your reach. The idea of needing something to feel better about yourself is the issue here. It’s not the fact that you’re missing a villa, a fast and furious sports car, trophy wife and loads of money. It’s not even about appreciating your family or doing good deeds for the people around you. It’s not the matter of good or bad. It’s not the matter of being useful or useless. It’s not the matter of doing something with your life vs. wasting it on drugs, junk food or procrastination. As long as you keep labeling things as good or bad despite your circumstances, you will never be truly happy.
Life is. We are. Everything that we see, hear, taste and feel, just is. Everything just is the way it is. This is how our world truly is. The very same moment someone labels an event, a situation or an activity as good or bad, he or she switches back to the paradigm that I’m telling you to escape from.
Let’s talk about reality, and our subjective reality for that matter. We all have different goals set out for ourselves, different things we want to accomplish in our lives, different directions that we desire to take so badly. In terms of your own goals and dreams, your own perception of where you’d like to be in life, some things truly are good and some are bad. In fact, I do not prefer to use these words. Let’s call them optimal and non-optimal.
For every single one of us, some things are optimal for our direction that we want to take and some are not. In fact, almost every single activity can be categorized in one of these two columns. There are things that we should keep away from and things we should really do more of, since they produce the results we desire. To be really pragmatic about it, one should pick the things she decides to spend her day on, therefore making the most of her time to be the most productive. There again, this type of behaivour can easily lead to burning out, high amounts of stress and may even make people forget what life is really about. Any time when a person is not at ease with himself or his situation in life, he has forgotten the true nature of life, which is always and always will be neutral. We give our life meaning, we give ourselves goals, not life. Life just is. Our brain, however, needs to make up reasons for us to live, otherwise it would be a big black hole, gazing into nothingness, which will produce some extreme nihilism. “Life doesn’t matter, none of this matters.” In one way this is true, but in another it does not have to be. Everything in life is our own subjective perception. If someone things he knows the truth, then keep in mind that it’s just his own perception and nothing more. Maybe it is the truth, and yet maybe it is not. We can never know for sure. That being said, all we can ever do for us to live a good life is to create our own truth, make it meaningful for ourselves, and then accept the fact that it can easily be false in terms of meaning of life or anything else in that matter. Hell, this book might even turn out to be complete bullshit, but I can assure you – this book, this philosophy, these ideas are the best thing we’ve got at this point. Might be true. Might be not. Who the fuck knows. And here is the key – Who the fuck even cares. Why would you even?
This is the turning point of everything most people believe in. Here comes the punch line of why we feel unhappy, why we cannot find peace and why we must always struggle to find happiness. We simply care too much. We give too many fucks about things that don’t really hold any value in terms of our happiness, our very own enjoyment of life. The idea is to not not give a fuck, nor is it to give a fuck. The point is to give a fuck, but for the right reasons. Each day we only have a limited amount of fucks that we are able to give, and if we decide to give them for the wrong reasons, like for instance someone cutting us off in traffic and therefore being deeply angered by it, we give away our power, we give away our peace in trade for being dissatisfied. It’s the combination of our ego and perception that will determine where we give a fuck where we don’t, but I’m telling you here, right now, at this very moment, that whatever you think is worthy to be given a fuck about is in terms of nature completely neutral. You give a fucking about it only because you think you need to give a fuck about it. You are triggered, and once you get triggered, you’ve lost.
Occasionally being triggered is not a bad thing, since it’s the proof that you’re still human, with feelings and all that. We all get triggered sometimes, and most of the times for the most stupid, most less meaningful reasons. Now, first off the bat – choose the things that in theory should and should not trigger you, and do it wisely keeping your own personal enjoyment in mind, and secondly – even if you fail to deliver, don’t worry about it. One of the biggest problems every single one of us has is that we take life too damn seriously. Sure, we might only live once, or get reincarnated into some animal later, but that does not mean this life is that valuable to be kept in a safe and never looked at again. True happiness comes from living life to the fullest, trying out things you have passion for and interest in, making stupid mistakes because we’re not perfect, and accomplishing big or small things simply because keeping ourselves moving in the direction where we want to go, producing some value is simply the result that comes with the job.
Give a fuck, but for the right reasons.
If you fail, even if it’s with this concept of giving a fuck, don’t worry about it, since worrying has never helped anyone to reach peacefulness with themselves.
Life is precious, but not as precious to not be used.
And for the ones that still dwell around the question of sheep and wolves – be the wolf, but do not forget the ways of the sheep. Sheep can relax, but fail and be miserable. Wolf can achieve, but stress over it and be miserable. Do both with balance of your own choosing, and then be totally okay with it. Choose your fucks. Do, yet don’t worry about it. Desire, yet don’t need it. Give your everything towards the dream, yet don’t make yourself reliant on the outcome of it. It’s really that simple. Be a wolf. A smart wolf, who learned from everyone and created his or her own truth.