“Intimate relationship is never the priority in a masculine man’s life and always the priority in a feminine woman’s life. If a man has a masculine sexual essence, then his priority is his mission, his direction toward greater release, freedom and consciousness. If a woman has a feminine sexual essence, then her priority is the flow of love in her life, including her relationship with a man whom she can totally trust, in body, emotion, mind and spirit. Man and woman must support each other in their priorities if the relationship is going to serve them both.”
– The Way Of The Superior Man by David Deida, a book that should be read by every single man out there, single or not.
Although you and your woman are equal beings, you are very different creatures in terms of your preferences in life due to your difference in sexuality. If she has a feminine sexual essence, her core will be fulfilled when love is flowing. For example, she can experience difficulties in her career, but if her love life is fulfilling, having children, friends and whatnot, then her core will be fulfilled and she’ll feel happy despite adversity.
This is not the case for men. If you have a masculine sexual essence, then your woman and children can be loving you all day and night, but if your career or mission in life is obstructed, then you will not feel at ease. You won’t be happy. Funny enough, you won’t even want to share much intimate time with your woman untill you have your career or mission back on track.
Woman’s core is fulfilled by love. Man’s core is released from stress by aligning his life with his mission. To a man, intimacy is something to be enjoyed in addition to your purpose. To a woman, intimacy is at the core of her life, and the tone of her man’s intimacy colors everything else she does.
When a man’s intimacy is going great, his woman’s life is fulfilled. She feels good at work, at home, in bed. But when man’s intimacy is not going great, she feels unloved, rejected, hurt and abandoned, which translates into her work, home and bed.
For men, if the intimacy is bad then you cannot wait to get out of the house and work, where you can be in your element, aligned with your purpose, and happy. For men, intimacy is just another aspect of life. Mission is the purpose, intimacy is a bonus.
When a man is absorbed in his mission, he often tends to forget entirely about his woman. For a woman, intimacy is at the core of her life that she cannot live without. The quality of her love life determines her life’s quality. This is the primary asymmetry in intimacy.
An interesting fact to point out is that for most men their woman is replaceable. Harsh, but true. If you are like most men, you know, deep down, that if you were to lose your present woman, you would grieve deeply, but you could eventually find another. Many times, in fact, you have probably fantasized about finding another woman even before losing the one you have. Because a man’s priority is his mission, he will always gravitate to a woman whom he feels would most support his mission. If he feels another woman would enliven him and give him more energy for his work, he might desire her as an intimate partner.
That’s the honest truth about men. We’re designed to thrive and search for more, to spread almost like a virus. Therefore, the idea of being with only one woman is a disposable fairytale. We think that’s what we want, we think that’s socially the most acceptable thing to do, yet we do not feel it as such. Go ahead, ask around, or if you’re a male, then sit down and think deeply on this subject. You’ll know I’m right.
And it’s not just me.
Feminine energy is designed to trap whereas masculine energy is designed to be free. This is the paradox that makes us do everything. All relationship problems are mainly caused by this formula alone. It’s the platform of everything that goes on in our lives.
Life is sex.
But…with this realisation, a certain question arises…
What to do about it?
Accept the situation and play around with all the nuances of it. it’s actually quite fun if you know what’s going on 😉