Truth be told…
It is extremely annoying to be around a self-help junkie, a person that thinks his or her worth is determined by how far he makes it in life.
The difference between the words “need” and “want”. If you feel like you need to do something, then you’ll be all tense and anxious about it at all times, therefore making it impossible for you to actually be likeable, charismatic…even normal!
But, if you’re just doing the deed out of your own will and are not insanely dependant on the outcome, then it’s a whole different story.
What are we all seeking? What are we all looking for in life? What is our goal here on this planet? What is the motivation behind everything that we do? If you really follow it to the roots, it always comes down to this one thing – happiness. True happiness with no anxiety, no sorrow and just being at peace with every emotion and every situation around you. Ultimately this is what we are all after. This is why even kids try to stay out of trouble and get good grades – to study hard for a rewarding job in the future and follow the society’s plan. It’s the mindset of „well, the society has ordered it to be so, thus it must be the best way.“ We are putting our faith into something else other than ourselves. In this case it’s the people who have constructed the blueprint for our way of life. We are set out to belive that they know what’s best for us.
Our whole society is a summary of occurrences, that makes every single civilisation in the world have a similar outcome because of human nature, which is always the same. People who have high status jobs and can influence the outcome of a country or even several countries, are still human beings. Humans are after happiness. Happiness is bigger than job security, being unique, having kids, goals, dreams, money, travelling, self discovery and even the meaning of life. True happiness means we’re feeling good all the time no matter the circumstances. It’s the reason why we do everything and is also our ultimate goal.
Every single civilisation has had their own chance of developing a society. Yet, the whole world is mostly the same. We are after same things, even tho we might have different methods in achieving them. Some think they need to blow up buildings to feel complete, some think they need a lot of money to do the same. Some even stay consistently under the influence of drugs and belive this will grant them the feeling we all so desperately search for. The point is that in the end we as humans are all after the same thing – true happiness.
What can we do to reach true happiness?
The concept of „how to reach true happiness“ is not something we intellectually accept. It’s something in order to understand we all have to go through. This is why materialistic things, situations, habits nor actions cannot determine true happiness. They can be used on the road of understanding the whole concept, but they are certainly not the answer. Happiness is our default natural state. Naturally we are all already happy without worries, sorrow, problems, uncomfortable situations. The mistake we make is we tell ourselves that we are not. „I’m not happy and I’m going to go out and find ways to be happy.“ This is why it never really works. There are people who are achieving a lot, who make a lot of money, who acquire many materialistic things. Right now you probably have a whole list of what you need in order to be closer to happiness. Cars, money, house, wife, kids, health. Now you can probably think of someone else, who has those things, but is not happy. It’s like nobody is able to find the answer and it feels like it’s impossible to find it.
Happiness is our nature. We tell ourselves we are not happy. We seek that happiness from external values, but because our happiness is based on that wrong assumption, it’s impossible to find it through this type of thinking. However, in order to realise this, we need to go through tough times, work on things we like, experience meltdowns and success.
A very powerful method for realising all of this on your own is to just go out of social formalities and do something that’s considered weird or unorthodox. For an example go dance in a public library. Tell funny one liners to random people who walk by. Explore your social limitations, and then go beyond. Just try any of these things on your own and see how damn happy you feel. It’s because you’ve lost one of your suppressive paradigms – being normal. Your personality becomes free. You did not learn to be happy, you just realised how to not be unhappy. Freedom of outcome and positive thinking in every situation.
Finding true happiness is about understanding that you don’t need anything in this world to be happy other than your mental state of happiness. This does not mean we should not work on our dreams. We should still go for external things such as money, fame and family. The whole difference is in the place from where all your ideas are coming from. Are you working on being rich because you want to be happy or are you already happy and work on being rich because you want to be rich? It’s about not needing anything for being happy, but still wanting to achieve goals to improve your life quality. We should not do the things because we need to get something. We should do them because we want something. We should want to change the world for the better, not need to. We should want to make a lot of money, not need to make a lot of money to be happy. It’s all about the place where the desire is coming from. Let go of the desire and then do whatever you feel like doing – write a book, make money, whatever you choose to. In order to find happiness, the concept of „lack“ needs to be removed.
“Drop the idea of becoming someone, because you are already a masterpiece. You cannot be improved. You have only to come to it, to know it, to realize it.”
Being happy is not something we grow into. It’s something we already are. We get there by realising that we’re already there. Let go of your limitations, emotions, your thoughts and reconnect with you state of happiness. The way you can track your progress of letting go is to stop just to think from time to time on how much do these external values affect you. How much are you affected by the media, limitations, other people and so on. I can guarantee you that once you’re done with this book, it’s a lot less than it was before.
“No book is going to teach you experience.”
– Bryan Casella, Close The Deal
Oh and one more thing…
For the guy who’s into girls…hey, that could be you!