Stay with me, this can take up to SIX minutes to read through… 😉
Truth About Growth
The lobster is a soft mushy animal that lives inside of a rigid shell. That rigid shell does not expand. Well, how can the lobster grow given these circumstances that the shell won’t expand? As the lobster grows that shell becomes very confining and lobster begins to feel itself under pressure and uncomfortable. It goes under a rock formation to protect itself from predatory fish, casts of the shell and produces a new one. Eventually, that shell becomes very uncomfortable as the lobster grows even more. Once more, back under the rocks to produce a new shell. The lobster repeats this numerous times. The stimulus for the lobster to be able to grow is that it feels uncomfortable. If lobsters had doctors, they would never grow. As soon as lobster would go to the doctor, he’d get some painkillers, a Valium, a Percocet or any other medicine and he’d feel fine. The outcome? Never casts off his shell.
A wonderful story, eh. At times we need to realize that stress, depression, unconformability and anything else that’s unpleasant is nothing more than a signal for us to grow. If we use adversity properly, we can grow through it.
But what about pain?
Pain is never the issue. The real issue that people rarely talk about is how we’re reacting to the pain, how we let it influence us and what effect this entire process has on our future in regards of relationships, financial success, fitness goals or anything else for that matter. I’ve gone over this concept in every single book that I’ve written and I’m here to do this again, again and again, so this idea must be holding a strong reason of importance.
The problem we, the people, have with pain is our labeling. We always tend to label things as good or bad despite actually thinking calmly and using some fucking common sense. We see things we don’t like as bad and things we like as good. On top of this we do things we don’t like while telling ourselves it’s for a greater cause, like getting a proper education, a better paying job and so forth. Everything surrounding this belief is true, since studying hard despite not liking the material will get you a higher paying job, or at least increases the chances of getting one like that. Pushing yourself to create something big, to work out or just even getting through that one last lecture can have amazing benefits and is worth paying the price of giving your best effort to. Hard work can pay off and it can pay off insanely well, and it requires pushing your limits daily, first off to create the habit of not escaping from them and then living by this rule on every single day of the week. Here’s the deal though. Many of us see this hustle as something that needs to be done, as something that’s unpleasant and done only because it is mandatory to reach higher grounds. But, what’s the reasoning behind reaching success in the first place?
Everything that we are doing in our lives can be tracked down to one single desire. The craving for happiness. We do everything just to be happy. You could say that our body is designed to keep going, to live as long as it can, but even the fear of death, the will to survive exists so that we could experience some more happiness during the time we’ve been given. Why would you want to live in sorrow and depression? You wouldn’t. We see those moments of working hard as the price we pay for those few relaxing moments on Sunday.
I’m here to tell you that this is not what we should live for.
Life can be a lot more than we can imagine. What if I told you that one is capable of enjoying every single moment that he or she comes across? What if I told you that labeling things as good or bad is just your own interpretation and completely not true. Want to know the truth? Alright I’ll tell you. Life is neutral. It’s not good or bad. Life just is. Whether it’s good or bad is your own perception of reality, of how you see it, which is influenced by every single experience you’ve ever had in your life starting from your childhood. Sounds mind-blowing? It should.
I recently came across this book called The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck. This is the best book I’ve ever had the change to glance towards. Now, is this the best book that exists in our world? Probably not. It’s the best book in the world for me because it has influenced me the most, it holds the biggest amount of truth that I believe in. This book is the truth. It’s my truth. It is my own perception of reality. Whether this reality of mine is universally true or not holds no importance what so ever, because this is not the issue here. We are not here to solve this everlasting puzzle of why we’ve been put on planet we call Earth. In fact, it is my strong belief that human kind has no purpose at all. I believe everything we do, see, heart, touch and taste just is. Everything just is. Why it is, I do not know nor do I care. I simply don’t care. It’s one of those questions that probably won’t get answered for hundreds of years to come. So why should I spend my precious mental energy on something that won’t benefit me? I’d rather focus on my own wellbeing, and also make the people around me at least a little bit happier. This is what I decide to focus on and it has brought me a grand sense of calmness, self-esteem, enlightenment, confidence or whatever the fuck you want to call it. The point is that I’m one hundred percent happy with my life, because happiness is something I choose to be. I could worry about some random dude who got killed ten miles outside of New York due to a random car crash, or I could choose my focus and worry about things that actually matter to me. You can call it ego, you can call it narcissism. I call it being sane. I call it being smart. I call it living the good life.
Choose the fucks you give and where you give them, since they’re limited. Worry about things that hold importance to your life specifically. There are more problems in our world than any of us is able to rap their head around. So why should we? It’s an endless rat race that will bring great amounts of misery, to only be focusing on the negative. Now, I am not saying to be overly positive. Trick is to be a realist, and a smart one since many realists are lacking of brain cells, so to speak. To be a true realist is the greatest pleasure this life can offer.
Back to the topic of pain that has been drifting apart for the past few hundred words…
Pain is inevitable. No matter how big of an optimist you are, at some point you’ll feel pain. There’s no escape. This should not frighten you. A realist understands this concept. Realist understands that pain is a big part of life. Realist does not reject that fact. Realist does not try to hide this fact behind fake optimism. And, a true realist understands that pain is just one part of life, not the entire life. A true realist sees the full picture, of pleasure and pain. Both exist. Depending on your life situation there’s going to be more of one than the other. Don’t hide away from it. None of these are good nor bad. Pain and pleasure just are. Embrace both sides. Choose the fucks you give, and give them for the right reasons. Since we all are going to experience pain at some point, then why should we see it as a negative? Why should we label something we have no escape from as a negative? It’s like choosing to have negative things in your life. Why would you? Why would anybody? Enjoy the pleasure, as well as the pain. Embrace both sides. Learn to enjoy the grind, because of the reward and for the sake of enjoying this ride. Life is all a big ride. This ride is all we have right now and all we will ever have. Why would we choose the only thing that we have to be entirely negative? A true realist enjoys the pain because it will lead to pleasure. Pain is a down payment of success, and I’m not only talking about finance. It’s everywhere. To have an amazing relationship one must go through many weak and awful ones to get there. To even have real sex for the first time one needs to step up and talk to the opposite sex. Is it painful? For many of us, yeah. The amount of guys who are unable to have sex due to their own negative beliefs is crazy. To break free from those beliefs is to experience pain, because the ego does not want to change. Change is frightening. Change is new. New is dangerous, since it’s unknown. So what is left for us to do? Just this one thing. Embrace chaos. Work for success in life. Any kind of success of your choosing. Pain will lead to pleasure and vice versa. Pain is not bad. Pleasure is not bad. They both just are. Both exist. Fully realize this, and your life will never be the same again.