Aww…Did Your Heart Break?

“Oh, I wouldn’t mind, Hazel Grace. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

Have you ever had a bad breakup? Have you ever had a situation where you have deep love for someone, yet that person won’t even text you back? Hell, have you ever had a heartbreak for any reason what so ever? Probably every single one of us has experienced heartbreak, and it has most likely not been only once. It’s a common thing nowadays, especially when the girls are a lot more bitchy, the guys much more insecure and the society projecting this true style romance on us, which is in no shape or form close to the reality. I for one have been left standing in the rain more times than I can count, girls have rejected me day in day out, I’ve shared my love with women to who I’ve been nothing more than just a pawn to play with, and of course I’ve also been in the other end of the spectrum, seeing how it works from both angles.

The shortest helpful fact that I can give you in this post is that we cannot escape heartbreak, since it is bound to get us at some point or another whether we purposely chase love or not.

The whole idea of heartbreak is possible only thanks to one little reason, or a big reason depending on how one decides to look at it. Our paradigm. You’ve heard me talk about this for a long time now, and yet the word still keeps popping up like a curse. Well, obviously it has a big part to play in this philosophy of the sly man. Paradigms are the main factors that create our life. Paradigms determine the quality of our life and how one goes about it, the thoughts that one has and even the ideas that pop into his or her head. Paradigms control everything.

Heartbreak is only possible when one decides to put his faith into the other person, and that person then betrays him, or simply to say fails to exceed his expectations. It’s our paradigm, to be dependent on someone else and give that person the power to be in charge of our emotions, even our love. Think about it. Think back to the time when you thought you loved someone, or maybe you still do to this day. This did not happen because that other person is so special. This did not happen because of some deep and pure chemistry that’s floating around in the air, waiting to be released upon that person who has the right receptors to receive it. Love is merely a reaction that happens when the right girl meets the right guy in the right fucking time and place. Love is the sum of our current emotions and the experiences we’ve had so far. It’s not some match made in heaven, it’s merely a beautiful chance. The game of luck, to be able to meet a girl who is well receptive to your current mood swing, ambition and ideas that have dwelled around in your head for the past few minutes, hours, days… It’s merely a lucky chance that does not happen often. If we’re dealing with a person who’s emotionally crippled, desperately needing a man in her life, then for her failing in love will be almost instant with any guy who takes initiative or is simply there. Love is a big game of chance that two people sharing a common interest in their type have the luck to meet at the right time through the right occurrences. Running into someone, spilling over his coffee, him being all chill about it since he just got a big raise at work and telling the girl it’s alright, girl falling for that guy partly due to movies projecting these romantic moments and partly thanks to the dude being cool about the situation will produce instant attraction and therefore will seem like love. Taking into account that none of them have had many boyfriends or girlfriends or no sexual experiences before, they connect well with each other, get married in few years and then, some day having tremendous hatred for each other and wondering what happened to their love. It’s simple really. Shit happened. Falling for the first dude of girl who happens to share an absurd moment with you is not love, it’s just one of those moments that’s absurd. It doesn’t mean much, it just gives these two people the chance to fulfill both of their desires through this excuse of love. I’m not saying this sort of love ain’t real, I’m simply saying there is a logical explanation to everything that happens in relationships through the science of psychology. Human beings look for approval, they look for real human connection with the opposite sex, and these occurences give it a real good chance to really happen. It’s in our nature. I’m a real party pooper for saying such things, and yet they are still true no matter how many people deny these facts. Go ahead, look it up. I dare you.

Our paradigms make us be dependent on someone else, to look for love from places that won’t offer us this ultimate satisfaction. No matter how much you might know about relationships, they will always be messy. They are not perfect, not even to the smartest therapist out there. In fact, the wives of therapist’s have the highest rate of suicide in our today’s culture. I guess many of us are just unable to handle the truth, as Jack would say.

Instead of being dependent on another, I invite you to change your motivational source, your paradigm, if you will. As the title says – your life, your rules. Make your life about yourself, and then, once you’ve established that, invite other people to join in on your ride and offer them your unconditional love. Whether they accept it or not is entirely up to them, but at least you’ve done everything that can be done. That’s all we can ever do. Sounds like narcissism? Well, maybe a healthy dose of narcissism combined with gratitude for what we have and acceptance for everything that is and will be is all what we ever need.

How Marathon Running Saved My Life

The Cave You Fear to Enter Holds the Treasure You Seek

The hardest thing for me to do used to be staying in shape. I used to be skinny-fat during my teens (fat’ish without any muscle) and at some point even a bit overweight. On top of hating training, sweat and everything in-between, I had developed a deep hatred towards jogging in particular.

Man…that shit was so damn intense. I lost every single race that was held in my gym class, and by lost I do not mean not getting first place…I was the last boy to finish. ALWAYS.

So in conclusion, I was the slowest and fattest kid in my class. At least amongst boys, since we had some heavy weight girls there as well. Haha.

I looooved chocolate! I loved chips. I loved all kinds of fast food despite my family being well-off enough to make quality food. I rejected anything that did not taste good and went for the “weak route” instead. I chose instant gratification instead of investing in my health. Was it wrong? That’s already a matter of your perception. Although, in terms of living longer, feeling better in the mean time and being fully functional and physically superior to other men – it sure was a VERY wrong way to live.

So…what did I do?

Well…nothing. For years. However, once I turned 17yo, my perspective on life started to shift. I began valuing the idea of being physically fit, since I thought people would look at me, point with eyes filled with jealousy and hold me on a higher standard. I loved the idea of being acknowledged for my achievements (which I probably got from playing a video game called Runescape for years). Being healthy in the progress and looking like a greek god, having all kids of aesthetics was from that point on really damn appealing to me.

I started weight training. I bought a gym membership (the most expensive gym in my city since I did not know any better) and got to work. Since this type of life got under my skin really damn quick, I started skipping school to work out even more, I learned about dieting and fitness programs through internet, sometimes spending a good 5 hours doing my research in one sitting. Needless to say – I was hooked.

Weight lifting was not hard for me, because, if you think about it, what is it exactly? Picking up some heavy things and doing curls with them for about 10-20 seconds. So, in conclusion, you’d have to work for only 20 seconds and then take a 1-3 minute break just to recover and move on. So even if you spend 40 minutes in the gym, you’d actually be working out for only like 5-10 minutes maximum. That’s how it works. And there results can be spectacular if you also have your diet in check.

Jogging, however, is a constant struggle that can last for hours. Shit does not work like that with weight lifting. Weight lifting consists of small sprints that are not hard to motivate yourself to do. But to run for hours without rest, constantly battling in your mind over stopping and giving up, having consistent debates in which your own body and mind are against you…

It’s not pleasant at all!

Realizing this, I quickly switched (even though my upper body was in a great fucking shape) from bodybuilding to jogging just to bring myself out of a newborn comfort zone. And man, it was tough as hell. If you think gym is hard…oh boy, try going out for a jog at 4 o’clock in the morning.

Go ahead, just try it.

You’ll most likely hate it, even if you’re an experienced runner.

The point that I want to address here is that my journey involved doing things that were outside of my comfort zone. Despite being on the right track in terms of my diet, physical fitness and on top of all that – looks, I still sacrificed everything I had just to go for something even harder. For me, that was jogging, in which im pretty much excel at right now.

Is it painful tedious and boring?

Hell yeah.

But, is it worth it.

Hell yeah.

Therefore, since I have a purpose for my sport, the hard parts and the grind suddenly becomes easy. I’m not forcing myself to go out and train, no. I have achieved the state of power, in which I’ve realized that running is a part of life, the good life, at least for someone in my situation. It’s not the question of should I go or should I not. Do or do not, there is no try. There are no mental debates. There’s just action. Sometimes I don’t run and some days I do. I simply listen to my gut and then make the right decision. Since knowing how much jogging is improving every single area in my life, having thoughts on quitting the sport all together is not part of my options. Not logically, not even emotionally.

If something is really hard for you to do, then in many cases there’s really no other choice but to do it. If your suffering seems endless and you feel such as there’s no way out, one must do the opposite – find joy in it.

I find lots of joy in jogging now, running for my destination, seeing new places, clearing my mind from bullshit, going out to feel the air against my skin and always having a specific goal in mind – the finish line.

It’s a fun hobby that I learned to enjoy. It’s a useful hobby that will keep me right on the edge, where I got to be. Go through the pain in order to earn the spoils. They’re worth it.

So…

How did running a marathon save my life?

Easy.

Once you find out what you’re scared of or threatened by the most, hold that bastard by the neck and squeeze everything you want out it, you’ll feel unstoppable. Yes, I was deeply afraid of putting my body through that tedious process of fighting myself for hours on end. Daily!

But, fear is nothing but a signal of what you need to do in order to get the biggest benefit possible.

The Truth About Positive Thinking

Negative feelings are the byproduct of a healthy mind. Accepting those feelings and realizing that life is not always fun, and those down times are really a necessity to experience the good ones. Negative feelings are not negative, meaning we should not run away from them. Accept them since shit happens, and that’s about fucking it. Really. Paradoxically, this sort of thinking will make you more into a positive person as well as make you enjoy life more thanks to the realisation of life is not a fairytale, and it’s also not a tedious rat race.

The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.

If a person spends his entire life looking for emotional highs, then he’ll be addicted to the positive stimulus, and for those people it’s really damn hard to accept tough times. If you deny something, you’re not free from it. It will come back to haunt you, to make you miserable and with a much bigger force. Once we just accept the shittiness that life throws at us and realize how it’s not that bad, life becomes a lot easier. There are dark times and there are those great fun easy times when everything is going in the way we want. There’s nothing wrong with either of these. That’s life. It’s said by almost everyone, and we all know this, but do we really get it? Do you really fucking get it? Because once you do, there will be no negativity. There will be downfall, but there will be no negativity. There will be sadness and sorrow, but you don’t shy away from it. You will embrace it. And that feeling, of being able to take anything life throws at you with this sense of being at ease because of understanding life and accepting its parts of all kind, one becomes truly happy.

So what is a positive experience? If you haven’t figured out the answer by the time you’re reading this, no offence, but let me just spell it out for it to be crystal clear. Life itself is a positive experience, thanks to the sadness, sorrow, happiness, fun times and everything else that comes with it. There is no judgement, no feeling is better than the other. It’s all equal, and it’s all just so fucking fun.

True Happiness And How To Reach It Without Doing Anything Remarkable

Truth be told…

It is extremely annoying to be around a self-help junkie, a person that thinks his or her worth is determined by how far he makes it in life.

The difference between the words “need” and “want”. If you feel like you need to do something, then you’ll be all tense and anxious about it at all times, therefore making it impossible for you to actually be likeable, charismatic…even normal!

But, if you’re just doing the deed out of your own will and are not insanely dependant on the outcome, then it’s a whole different story.

Now…

What are we all seeking? What are we all looking for in life? What is our goal here on this planet? What is the motivation behind everything that we do? If you really follow it to the roots, it always comes down to this one thing – happiness. True happiness with no anxiety, no sorrow and just being at peace with every emotion and every situation around you. Ultimately this is what we are all after. This is why even kids try to stay out of trouble and get good grades – to study hard for a rewarding job in the future and follow the society’s plan. It’s the mindset of „well, the society has ordered it to be so, thus it must be the best way.“ We are putting our faith into something else other than ourselves. In this case it’s the people who have constructed the blueprint for our way of life. We are set out to belive that they know what’s best for us.

Our whole society is a summary of occurrences, that makes every single civilisation in the world have a similar outcome because of human nature, which is always the same. People who have high status jobs and can influence the outcome of a country or even several countries, are still human beings. Humans are after happiness. Happiness is bigger than job security, being unique, having kids, goals, dreams, money, travelling, self discovery and even the meaning of life. True happiness means we’re feeling good all the time no matter the circumstances. It’s the reason why we do everything and is also our ultimate goal.

Every single civilisation has had their own chance of developing a society. Yet, the whole world is mostly the same. We are after same things, even tho we might have different methods in achieving them. Some think they need to blow up buildings to feel complete, some think they need a lot of money to do the same. Some even stay consistently under the influence of drugs and belive this will grant them the feeling we all so desperately search for. The point is that in the end we as humans are all after the same thing – true happiness.

What can we do to reach true happiness?

The concept of „how to reach true happiness“ is not something we intellectually accept. It’s something in order to understand we all have to go through. This is why materialistic things, situations, habits nor actions cannot determine true happiness. They can be used on the road of understanding the whole concept, but they are certainly not the answer. Happiness is our default natural state. Naturally we are all already happy without worries, sorrow, problems, uncomfortable situations. The mistake we make is we tell ourselves that we are not. „I’m not happy and I’m going to go out and find ways to be happy.“ This is why it never really works. There are people who are achieving a lot, who make a lot of money, who acquire many materialistic things. Right now you probably have a whole list of what you need in order to be closer to happiness. Cars, money, house, wife, kids, health. Now you can probably think of someone else, who has those things, but is not happy. It’s like nobody is able to find the answer and it feels like it’s impossible to find it.

Happiness is our nature. We tell ourselves we are not happy. We seek that happiness from external values, but because our happiness is based on that wrong assumption, it’s impossible to find it through this type of thinking. However, in order to realise this, we need to go through tough times, work on things we like, experience meltdowns and success.

A very powerful method for realising all of this on your own is to just go out of social formalities and do something that’s considered weird or unorthodox. For an example go dance in a public library. Tell funny one liners to random people who walk by. Explore your social limitations, and then go beyond. Just try any of these things on your own and see how damn happy you feel. It’s because you’ve lost one of your suppressive paradigms – being normal. Your personality becomes free. You did not learn to be happy, you just realised how to not be unhappy. Freedom of outcome and positive thinking in every situation.

Finding true happiness is about understanding that you don’t need anything in this world to be happy other than your mental state of happiness. This does not mean we should not work on our dreams. We should still go for external things such as money, fame and family. The whole difference is in the place from where all your ideas are coming from. Are you working on being rich because you want to be happy or are you already happy and work on being rich because you want to be rich? It’s about not needing anything for being happy, but still wanting to achieve goals to improve your life quality. We should not do the things because we need to get something. We should do them because we want something. We should want to change the world for the better, not need to. We should want to make a lot of money, not need to make a lot of money to be happy. It’s all about the place where the desire is coming from. Let go of the desire and then do whatever you feel like doing – write a book, make money, whatever you choose to. In order to find happiness, the concept of „lack“ needs to be removed.

“Drop the idea of becoming someone, because you are already a masterpiece. You cannot be improved. You have only to come to it, to know it, to realize it.”

―Osho

Being happy is not something we grow into. It’s something we already are. We get there by realising that we’re already there. Let go of your limitations, emotions, your thoughts and reconnect with you state of happiness. The way you can track your progress of letting go is to stop just to think from time to time on how much do these external values affect you. How much are you affected by the media, limitations, other people and so on. I can guarantee you that once you’re done with this book, it’s a lot less than it was before.

“No book is going to teach you experience.”

– Bryan Casella, Close The Deal

Oh and one more thing…

For the guy who’s into girls…hey, that could be you!

The Most Powerful Word In The World

“I am as bad as the worst, but, thank God, I am as good as the best.” Walt Whitman

To me, the most profound word that I could think of is not really a word, but more like a combination of two words. Oh, what’s the word? This one.

Iam is the most profound word (or in this case a combination of words) that I have been able to come up with. Why, you might ask. The answer is simple. There is no other expression so powerful and meaningful than this. But then again, why exactly?

In dating or pickup, work, fitness, whatever the subject, best results come for the individual that has a specific mindset. That mindset is extremely unorthodox and involves loads of work on yourself, especially your ego and your perception of how you’re seeing the world at this given time. Many great athletes, business folk, philanthropists, etc…

…Everyone that have been good at their craft, have had a special desire to be good. They’ve had this inner fire inside themselves, which translates back to their childhood experiences. Many of us have the goal to be approved by our parents, by the world, by a girl that we used to love yet she never actually paid any attention to us…

Some of us are motivated by money since there was a lack of comfort in their childhood. Some of us like Gary Vaynerchuk grew up in a big family, a poor family, the kind of family that had to share toilet paper due to not having enough money to go and buy another pack. Talk about adversity…

I cannot even imagine how tough it must have been for Gary!

And then there are those who embrace the grind, the ones that enjoy chaos and love to work on their ideas. These people are extremely self-motivated, have their values in check and are pretty much impenetrable as far as their perception and ego goes. You could say anything to a person who falls under this category, and they would not care. n fact, they would most likely not even pay attention to your comment since they have a strong sense of belief in their mind. These kind of people know what they want to do in life and they actually do it. Without excuses!

Now…

The IAM people.

The Iam people are a completely different case. To be an Iam person…one must not feel the need to complete something, one must not have a deep desire to achieve something, one must not do anything in their life in order to get something out of it either for themselves, their family or anyone else. The Iam people are the ones that ARE their endeavour. These are the people who identify with their profession, passion or whatever the hell you wanna call it, so freaking hard that they see themselves as that very same thing.

Me, for an example, see myself as game. I no longer go out to pick up chicks, to sell my personality to different beautiful women with an idea to have sex with them. I no longer even want to offer something, I no longer even feel like picking up chicks just to offer girls a wonderful experience with an experienced guy. Now…I feel as I am the game. I am pickup. I am seduction.

Do not get this confused! I am NOT a pickup artist. I am NOT a womanizer. I am NOT a fucking “Label”.

I. Simply. Am.

IAM

That’s the beauty of it. I simply just am. You simply just are. We all are. This is probably the deepest thought I’ve ever been able to share with anyone. If you think you get it, like for real, TRULY GET IT, then I’ll give you biiig props! It took me 21 years to finally get it and while I’m writing this, I am still learning more about it!

It’s all an ongoing process.

IAM is a state where one identifies himself with their craft. You no longer need motivation, you no longer need to force yourself into doing something. Doing the deed seems so natural that doing it or not never becomes a debate. Your craft becomes as easy and natural as breathing. And not because you’ve become used to it, but because of understanding that it’s the right thing to do. Being fully in the present, feeling the energy flow through you and approaching your endeavour like it’s the most proper thing in the world to do.

And without questioning!

Think of it as force in the Star Wars Trilogy. Once you fully own the force is when you start identifying yourself with it instead of just bluntly using it.

How does one reach such level?

IAM is all about understanding the dynamics of our world, seeing other person’s perspective and realizing how all of our pictures actually play together on this grand scheme of things. A wise man once said there are 7 billion different truths in the world, because at that given time there were around 7 billion people on the planet. That’s true, we all have our own perception of the world that we believe to be true. Some of us are spiritual gangsters, some of us spend all of our time making money and creating a name for themselves, some enjoy the little things and stay home with their kids…

We all believe in a different truth. Can you understand it all? No. Never.

This realization itself is the truth.

Funny, eh. A fucking paradox.

As I’m writing this, I’ve realized that I have not been able to properly explain the phenomenon of IAM. And I realize that I might never be able to do so. Is it enlightenment? Who knows. Is it the ultimate truth? Who the fuck knows. The beauty is that we do not even need to know. Every person is capable of living a fulfilling life without ever understanding the ultimate truth. Play on your instincts, your desires…even on your ego.

Therefore, I’ll end it with this.

Maybe one day…

Feel free to message me for an individual in-depth (free) talk.

Can You Make Money Through Picking Up Women?

The question is – can YOU make money from being able to date young and beautiful women?

Do you want the short answer or the long answer? Oh, fuck it, I’ll give you both of these, but not in the order of which you’d prefer 😉

Anyhow, here’s the long one.

I began in my pickup journey many years ago. Back then I was nothing more but a jobless, school-less(?), punk with a severe stutter and a dream of becoming a ladykiller (no, not an actual killer). My dream was to be like those actors in movies, Jack Nicholson and Brad Pitt. I’m not talking about Justin Bieber or Zac Efron, because they’re a completely different story. Anyhow, you get the picture.

I was so young and extremely naive. I believed everything my dating gurus told me, which, luckily, was good as fuck. I learned more in one month than those who came before me learned in one year! I was tremendously motivated, dedicated and ready to rock!

I remember that back then I didn’t do anything else. My whole life was picking up women. I focused merely on how to become the superior man and the techniques that work you through the bullshit excuses women make in order to stay “non-slutty”. And they worked. For real! I was becoming better than I was yesterday so fucking fast that it was completely insane. I went out to do daygame, talked to like 50 different hot women in few hours, got the reference experiences, learned the fuck out of them, and then moved on. To what, you might ask. Well…nightgame of course! My nights ended in different clubs and bars, and I probably had talked to every single female in the area.

Funny thing about this is that many of those women actually found me tremendously attractive, despite me being so young, poor and without any sense of style. That’s true, I was wearing this 3-year-old black hoodie, blue jeans and white sneakers. That’s it. And the women? Well…fucking 500 euro coats and lots more!

At the end of the day it did not matter. Game matters. If you’ve got good game, every external value means nothing. It’s like hypnosis. And since women are emotional creatures, they tend to focus on feelings and not logic. Therefore, they were getting the experience of a lifetime while those well-dressed business men stood in the corner with drinks in hand, gazing with their empty eyes, looking at me and wondering how this piece of shit even got in here.

Jokes on them.

Learning game was the best decision in my life and I recommend it to anybody who’s considering to go pro.

Go pro.

Now…can YOU make money with picking up women?

Yes.

After years of practising my craft, perfecting it to the highest level possible, during this time I had a wonderful idea of writing a book on it. Since I had so much to share, so many people to impress and so many bills to pay, I sat down and wrote for days. Weeks. Months. After 3 months of intensive work, due to my poor english during that time (and now), I was finally done.

The book sold well. I got enough money to pay for my gas bill that was due last year.

So…what did I do next?

I wrote another book.

I even started a blog, that works as a platform for my products. This shit is awesome! Now, in my case earning ANY money feels like the world’s biggest victory. However, to you it might not be so. Therefore, I’ll share some other EXTREMELY beneficial ideas that help you make money through seducing women.

1.Some women who fall for you are rich as fuck! You’d be surprised how many of them offer you money to go see them for just one night. This shit works like magic! The downside? You need skill. Lots of skill.

2.You’ll get tons of new contacts with people who have the ability to make shit happen. I’ve befriended millionaires, club owners, their wives…the list goes on. So, if you get a wonderful idea in the future, you’ll have the contacts to pull it off.

3.Pickup infield videos. YouTube is full of young brave guys that are able to make a fortune simply by arranging social experiments, as well as picking up girls at different campuses, schools, shopping malls…you name it. All you need is a camera, a YouTube account and lots of courage plus will. Let’s get crackin!

4. And last and the most important point of all – picking up women builds your character, gives you a charismatic look, which will benefit you everywhere. Job interviews, promotions at work…you name it. It’s not about what you can or cannot do, it’s about how much do people like you.

This shit goes even deeper…but it’s late and I’m tired as fuck.

Oh, and one more thing…

Here’s the fucking book.

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck

Stay with me, this can take up to SIX minutes to read through… 😉

Truth About Growth

The lobster is a soft mushy animal that lives inside of a rigid shell. That rigid shell does not expand. Well, how can the lobster grow given these circumstances that the shell won’t expand? As the lobster grows that shell becomes very confining and lobster begins to feel itself under pressure and uncomfortable. It goes under a rock formation to protect itself from predatory fish, casts of the shell and produces a new one. Eventually, that shell becomes very uncomfortable as the lobster grows even more. Once more, back under the rocks to produce a new shell. The lobster repeats this numerous times. The stimulus for the lobster to be able to grow is that it feels uncomfortable. If lobsters had doctors, they would never grow. As soon as lobster would go to the doctor, he’d get some painkillers, a Valium, a Percocet or any other medicine and he’d feel fine. The outcome? Never casts off his shell.

A wonderful story, eh. At times we need to realize that stress, depression, unconformability and anything else that’s unpleasant is nothing more than a signal for us to grow. If we use adversity properly, we can grow through it.

But what about pain?

Pain is never the issue. The real issue that people rarely talk about is how we’re reacting to the pain, how we let it influence us and what effect this entire process has on our future in regards of relationships, financial success, fitness goals or anything else for that matter. I’ve gone over this concept in every single book that I’ve written and I’m here to do this again, again and again, so this idea must be holding a strong reason of importance.

The problem we, the people, have with pain is our labeling. We always tend to label things as good or bad despite actually thinking calmly and using some fucking common sense. We see things we don’t like as bad and things we like as good. On top of this we do things we don’t like while telling ourselves it’s for a greater cause, like getting a proper education, a better paying job and so forth. Everything surrounding this belief is true, since studying hard despite not liking the material will get you a higher paying job, or at least increases the chances of getting one like that. Pushing yourself to create something big, to work out or just even getting through that one last lecture can have amazing benefits and is worth paying the price of giving your best effort to. Hard work can pay off and it can pay off insanely well, and it requires pushing your limits daily, first off to create the habit of not escaping from them and then living by this rule on every single day of the week. Here’s the deal though. Many of us see this hustle as something that needs to be done, as something that’s unpleasant and done only because it is mandatory to reach higher grounds. But, what’s the reasoning behind reaching success in the first place?

Everything that we are doing in our lives can be tracked down to one single desire. The craving for happiness. We do everything just to be happy. You could say that our body is designed to keep going, to live as long as it can, but even the fear of death, the will to survive exists so that we could experience some more happiness during the time we’ve been given. Why would you want to live in sorrow and depression? You wouldn’t. We see those moments of working hard as the price we pay for those few relaxing moments on Sunday.

I’m here to tell you that this is not what we should live for.

Life can be a lot more than we can imagine. What if I told you that one is capable of enjoying every single moment that he or she comes across? What if I told you that labeling things as good or bad is just your own interpretation and completely not true. Want to know the truth? Alright I’ll tell you. Life is neutral. It’s not good or bad. Life just is. Whether it’s good or bad is your own perception of reality, of how you see it, which is influenced by every single experience you’ve ever had in your life starting from your childhood. Sounds mind-blowing? It should.

I recently came across this book called The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck. This is the best book I’ve ever had the change to glance towards. Now, is this the best book that exists in our world? Probably not. It’s the best book in the world for me because it has influenced me the most, it holds the biggest amount of truth that I believe in. This book is the truth. It’s my truth. It is my own perception of reality. Whether this reality of mine is universally true or not holds no importance what so ever, because this is not the issue here. We are not here to solve this everlasting puzzle of why we’ve been put on planet we call Earth. In fact, it is my strong belief that human kind has no purpose at all. I believe everything we do, see, heart, touch and taste just is. Everything just is. Why it is, I do not know nor do I care. I simply don’t care. It’s one of those questions that probably won’t get answered for hundreds of years to come. So why should I spend my precious mental energy on something that won’t benefit me? I’d rather focus on my own wellbeing, and also make the people around me at least a little bit happier. This is what I decide to focus on and it has brought me a grand sense of calmness, self-esteem, enlightenment, confidence or whatever the fuck you want to call it. The point is that I’m one hundred percent happy with my life, because happiness is something I choose to be. I could worry about some random dude who got killed ten miles outside of New York due to a random car crash, or I could choose my focus and worry about things that actually matter to me. You can call it ego, you can call it narcissism. I call it being sane. I call it being smart. I call it living the good life.

Choose the fucks you give and where you give them, since they’re limited. Worry about things that hold importance to your life specifically. There are more problems in our world than any of us is able to rap their head around. So why should we? It’s an endless rat race that will bring great amounts of misery, to only be focusing on the negative. Now, I am not saying to be overly positive. Trick is to be a realist, and a smart one since many realists are lacking of brain cells, so to speak. To be a true realist is the greatest pleasure this life can offer.

Back to the topic of pain that has been drifting apart for the past few hundred words…

Pain is inevitable. No matter how big of an optimist you are, at some point you’ll feel pain. There’s no escape. This should not frighten you. A realist understands this concept. Realist understands that pain is a big part of life. Realist does not reject that fact. Realist does not try to hide this fact behind fake optimism. And, a true realist understands that pain is just one part of life, not the entire life. A true realist sees the full picture, of pleasure and pain. Both exist. Depending on your life situation there’s going to be more of one than the other. Don’t hide away from it. None of these are good nor bad. Pain and pleasure just are. Embrace both sides. Choose the fucks you give, and give them for the right reasons. Since we all are going to experience pain at some point, then why should we see it as a negative? Why should we label something we have no escape from as a negative? It’s like choosing to have negative things in your life. Why would you? Why would anybody? Enjoy the pleasure, as well as the pain. Embrace both sides. Learn to enjoy the grind, because of the reward and for the sake of enjoying this ride. Life is all a big ride. This ride is all we have right now and all we will ever have. Why would we choose the only thing that we have to be entirely negative? A true realist enjoys the pain because it will lead to pleasure. Pain is a down payment of success, and I’m not only talking about finance. It’s everywhere. To have an amazing relationship one must go through many weak and awful ones to get there. To even have real sex for the first time one needs to step up and talk to the opposite sex. Is it painful? For many of us, yeah. The amount of guys who are unable to have sex due to their own negative beliefs is crazy. To break free from those beliefs is to experience pain, because the ego does not want to change. Change is frightening. Change is new. New is dangerous, since it’s unknown. So what is left for us to do? Just this one thing. Embrace chaos. Work for success in life. Any kind of success of your choosing. Pain will lead to pleasure and vice versa. Pain is not bad. Pleasure is not bad. They both just are. Both exist. Fully realize this, and your life will never be the same again.