Ever since we are young, our parents have emphasized the idea on us that we should always be nice to each other even when we don’t want to. It’s such a common thing to say, since pretty much every single parent has said this to her child at one point or another. This kind of belief, if one takes it too seriously, will set your kid up for failure. The person who believes he or she needs to be fake and pretend to be nice only because that’s the way how we are able to operate our lives without stepping on any toes, creating anger in others and getting into conflicts, is uneducated. The result is simple. People who are mean on the inside, bitter about life and hate tons of different things, are trying to preserve themselves to be nice, since it seems to be the righteous thing to do. These are the very same people who get angry at life wondering why everything bad always happens to them, since they have done everything right, not pissed anybody off and been a good person overall.
No, that’s most certainly not so.
You are just acting as a nice person, but in reality you’re really not. You’re bitter, full of anger and fear, and have no clue how a successful person regardless of his or her field would operate. You are blind and uneducated. You’re a sheep.
If you act as a sheep, then you will be treated like one.
This is your reality check.
A big misconception is that we should all be nice to each other. The idea is to not be fake, but to actually be a nice person so you would not have to fake your mood and actions. The person who has good things happen to him is actually nice, he is a good person deep down and wishes the best for people without having fear, anger or hatred clouding his mind.
“I attract a crowd, not because I’m an extrovert or I’m over the top or I’m oozing with charisma. It’s because I care.” -Gary Vaynerchuk
One of the most praised traits is honesty. However, honesty is not something people usually want to hear. When you’ve failed your exams, then of course it’s better to hear the other guy saying that it’s okay, the exam was hard anyway, you’ll do better next time opposed to sayings such as failing being your own fault for not studying hard enough, for not having willpower and so forth. Honesty is a great policy, if the place the words are coming from is love. The guy that everyone want to be around and who people respect, is the guy who’s honest, yet sincere and offers quality advice instead of making the other person feel bad.
Train yourself to be the guy or girl who enjoys life, then you’ll be the real wolf, not bringing people down with negativity nor lying about who you are, but staying true to yourself and making sure that “self” is positive and worth being around.
There is this saying that judging by the books we read, people we spend the most of our time with and the activities and habits we mostly engage in, by the sum of these you can accurately predict the life of any person in five years. In this article I’m going to focus on relationships and how other people around us really play a big role in our development.
One of the most important points I’m able to point out is that we tend to spend time with people who are not really good for us in terms of developing as an individual. I used to make this mistake a lot and always hang out with my parents, even though my life goals were much different from what they held in high value. Despite them projecting an entirely different lifestyle on me than what I wanted for myself, I still went to birthday parties, christmas and other family gatherings. I even spent my every single new year’s eve with my family, the people from who I tried so hard to differ.
These were some of my life goals:
-Overcome my stutter
-Get into college
-Get a girlfriend
Really sad, eh?
In order to improve, one must spend time with people who are above him in terms of knowledge, status and all that kind of stuff. It is possible to learn something from every single person, however, you’re going to learn much more from someone who’s smarter than you. You would not take fitness advice from your parents who are both overweight now would you? The smart thing to do would be to find a role model who lives the life he projects, and who actually walks the talk.
Let’s take a look at another example. If your goal is to become rich, why would you take financial advice from your parents that are in the middle class? Why would you take financial advice from someone who’s making 300k a year opposed to another dude who’s making over a million in a year. It’s just common sense. Every single bond that you think you’ll have with your close relatives, any principle that you think you have to follow up on, is just in your own head. In reality we don’t have any responsibilities in front of anybody at all. Everything in our life is just the matter of our own perception, of what we believe it to be. The more we’ll think about it, the more logical this fact seems to be.
responsibility = response + ability
It’s not that we need to do something, it’s about our ability to respond to external stimulus.
So now we’ve established that if your goal is to improve, then you must start changing your habits and the people you hang around with according to your life goals. If you want to be a millionaire, start hanging around with people who make a lot of money. If you want to be fit, then start taking advice from people who actually live the life that you’d like to also have. Ignore the ones that think they know what they’re talking about but don’t actually have anything to show for it.
You can see the intelligence level of pretty much anyone from just the way they speak to you. I usually test everyone that come across me by talking about random stuff that the other guy/girl seems to be interested in. I use this method to weed out those people who I should not spend any time on from those who I’d like to hang out with.
Oh, and by the way:
This is what I am Now.