Here’s the problem…
Many guys are stuck in parallel thinking. In this case, what I mean by that is living your life without taking any action in terms of dating and such and waiting for the „perfect“ girl to step into their life just like in a romantic comedy movie with Hugh Grant. I’m not here to diss those kinds of movies. They are fun to watch and give hope for many of us. Although, that kind of thinking is not healthy and sure as hell won’t help you to achieve your goals. If you are such a softy with your dating life, then it’s more common, that the behaviour of that type translates into other areas of your life. Let’s say you’re not working as hard as you could in the gym. You feel a little bit of tired and you quit. If that’s the case, then it’s highly likely that you will act such way with your job also. Not going to the limit and settling for mediocrity.
The more relevant problem for this topic with this type of behaviour is that even when that girl shows herself, then you would not know how to act the way she finds attractive, since you’ve been waiting for her for your entire life and haven’t talked much to the other girls, because in your mind you were not so interested in them and not „right“ for you.
Pretty much all my friends have this problem. They rationalise not talking to girls with girls not being as cute, as beautiful or nice as their taste desires. In result of that they do not get the reference experience of talking to girls or just have very little. So in their mind when the right girl comes, they can just chat her up and get her to like them. In reality that’s definetaly not the case. If you have not done pickup at any point of your life and been successful at it, then the chances are the girl is not going to like you because you just don’t know how to attract a woman. At least not a high quality woman. And their perfect woman is always labeled as high quality. Women can see what type of man you are by just listening to you and looking at your body language. Even if you had the courage to go and talk to the so-called girl of your dreams, why would she pick you? You have little experience, you probably don’t know how to trigger attraction and the only thing you can do somewhat right is to ask her out for a drink, because you read somewhere or saw in a movie that guys always buy girls drinks. Now that is just ignorance and screams of you being inexperienced. Why would a woman like that choose a man like you? Mostly they do it only for the „provider“ role which I explain in another chapter. That’s if you’re lucky…somewhat, because you attracted her for the wrong reasons and there can never be real love. It’s more likely that she does not want to have that kind of relations with you at all.
So what would be the ideal situation? Talking to every woman you see in terms of sexual encounters? Well, almost. The idea is to have an abundance of woman to choose from. Then you can actually see, what you like and not choose from the state of desperation and frustration. In this scenario you can actually figure out, what type of girl you like most and you can choose the coolest, beautiful and most appealing female companion. Most guys choose the woman who they can get. That’s desperation and feeling like you have no other option because no one else is going to love you. This is one of the main reasons, why there are so many divorces and men losing money to women who just married them for money.
So go out, talk to the cute girl at the coffee shop that you see every day, or the woman who works right next to you. Give them a try, see what they are like. Maybe you like some of them and maybe you even wanna see them again. Even better, maybe they even like you back! You will never know before you try. And when you meet that dream girl of yours, you’ll have the reference experiences and know how to not creep her out be actually a cool human being with being too needy, cocky or just simply stupid.
It is possible to truly find someone very special to you without learning pickup. But think of the chances of that happening. Pretty low. You can meet a woman alright. But the chances of her being the right one for you – really fucking slim. Also think of all the experiences that you’re going to miss when you don’t learn game. You will miss all the epic stories such as dating celebrities and all you will ever talk about is how you won that beerpong contest twenty years ago. That might not be the case for everyone, but it’s the reality for most of us. Nothing worth having comes easy and without failing countless times before.