April 2016 – The Truth About Sexual Attraction

Is watching porn bad for you? (Real Answer)

This is a question I’ve been getting a lot from my friends and clients, so might as well add it to my advice collection. Who knows, maybe this is something you struggle with.

If you are getting laid and you do have options to get sex from multiple people and you still watch porn, then it’s probably not bad. You have a sex life and you use porn just for entertainment. Probably. I’m just giving you ideas here. You know deep down whether I’m talking about you or not. But yeah, in this case porn is probably not bad for you. Unless you have a sex addiction, which is just a disability if even that. It wont affect you in any negative way untill you have your life figured out. Even JFK had it and look what he did with his life.

Porn addiction. This is for people, who are caught up in their lives so much that they don’t have any other way to relax, because they can’t just clear their head with meditation.and stuff like that. It’s a way to stimulate yourself without using much effort. This is negative, because you just can’t handle your brain. Person like this needs self help books more than most people. And a good slap would be highly useful as well. Not a physical slap, altho that helps. Something to get them to think. Strong dose of reality hit works the best here.

Now, if you are one of those guys who can’t get laid without paying someone and you watch porn, then you might feel guilty afterwards or just shitty in general. Hell, it’s pretty certain that you do. It might even make you more depressed. A person like that needs to get into game. No question about it. In this situation other stuff does not work as well as learning game. I was one of these guys.

So is porn bad for you? Depends. Some people use it for entertainment, some for lower thoughts. Which one are you?

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How To Be Truly Confident

I’m sure you’ve heard that if you want to get girls, then you need to be confident in yourself, but there is not an exact definition of what confidence really is. One of my mentors had a great one.

Confidence is having positive expectations for favourable outcomes.

– Moe Abbassi

A perfect example about how important confidence really is, can be seen in the movie called Harry Potter and the half blood prince. Ron thought of himself as a mediocre quidditch player. He did not belive in his ability to be good at it and was really scared of the upcoming ballgame that he participates in. Harry, seeing his friend in trouble, supposedly gives him the elixir called Liquid Luck, that is known to have the effect of destroying all your fear and giving you major confidence. Generally in sports, when you get frightened, it’s over. Ron goes off to win the game with a feeling that he will beat everyone against him. In the end it’s revealed that Harry did not use the elixir on Ron. He just thought Harry did. As we can see, Ron won purely just because he believed in his abilities.

I’m sure we all have witnessed a similar effect on ourselves in sports. When we play to practise, we feel confident because we don’t have much on stake and so we don’t hesitate to try new methods. But when we play to win, especially when it’s a championship game or just something that you need to win badly, then we appear to be much more scared to even try to do amazing plays and stick to the basic stuff that we know the best.

For an example if you want to talk to the girl, you will have positive expectations like she liking me back, me getting her phone number and so on. The reason why sometimes this is not good is because we tend to condition certain habits in our brain. Let’s say you’re confident in your skills and you go up to the girl while being fairly certain that you will get everything you expect. She rejects you. What happens in our brain is that it begins to condition all your interactions and will make you belive that every time you go up to a girl, you will get rejected. Therefor this belief is ingrained in your brain and you will expect that result every thing you take action. So what this is doing is that since you are sure in your upcoming failure, it has a higher chance to actually happen. In result of that this idea will be ingrained even further into your brain.

Past actions and outcomes will shape the idea of what will happen in certain situations. If you have positive feedback, you will start to belive in positivity. You will associate good things with taking action. If you get negative feedback, it will go in the other direction. The result is happening because of your thought. If you are feeling negative about the outcome and you approach a girl with that energy, then she can see that you are not confident in yourself and just came to talk to her just to get rejected. That’s not attractive at all. So she will reject you just like you thought. However, if you go to her with positive thoughts then you will also seem more confident since you look like you know that positive actions will happen in result of you talking to her. She can sense the confidence in you. This does not mean that she will definitely not reject you, but you have so much higher chance of she liking you. This is also the same principle that explains how winning streaks and losing streaks start.

There is this problem that if the result isn’t good, then we start to belive that action leads into bad results. Essentially this is short-term thinking and will stop you from progressing especially when you’re trying to get good with girls. How do we fix this?

First of all, you got to start thinking long-term and not look at the immediate results. Get feedback from it, learn from and if it’s negative, then think of how to make it better. What did I do wrong and how can I fix it.

For the second part, have the belief that with consistency you will start to progress and get results. You are starting to think long-term and you’re not focused on the immediate results that are happening now.

Winners have a winning present. So you have to be speaking, having the tonality, the body posture of someone who has confidence, of someone who is winning in life. You will start feeding into your sensations and your thoughts will go aligned with your body.

Tony Robbins has said that if you smile even if you’re sad, if you keep a smile even just for 10 minutes, then you will actually start creating positive thoughts. Whatever happens, whatever thought we have, our body has a reaction to it. If you can control your body and start having a winning presence, you’ll start controlling your thoughts. You will notice that you have a lot more confidence when you’re about to take action.

What is one thing that you do not have confidence in right now and what are you going to do differently in order to create it?

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Why Technique Is The Best?

The truth about picking up women…

I want to get one thing straight right now. Women get just as horny as men! They just don’t want to initiative that shit all the time. They want to feel desired, shown some effort for. They want to feel like it was your idea to sleep with them. To give us, men, clues, they have all sorts of tactics that we completely miss. It can be as simple as touching her hair while talking to you or just giggling. They are normal behaviours, but they come off as sexy. You might be thinking like „ Oh my god, I see this literally every day! It can’t be so easy.“ Yes, it really is. Women usually are interested in a big number of men just like guys, but they need to give you a chance to prove yourself first and they give you clues so that you could approach them. This is why we as men will have to approach to show courage, talk to them to show you’re comfortable with her and lead the way so that she could feel safe with you. These are the things that trigger attraction in women. Being mad at them for not doing any approaches and asking guys out themselves to find a partner is totally wrong. It’s like asking a guy why he does not approach a woman he’s not interested in. The whole concept of dating amongst men is entirely misunderstood. As far as technique goes, well…

There are some tweaks and such for different styles of game, but overall – a certain technique does not exist. Small behavioural patterns here and there, but it’s far away from having a special technique that will unlock every woman. There is a guy who goes for the women he likes and that is it. You will work on being the best you can be every day and when you meet a woman, you’ll be confident in yourself because you’re improving, smart because you’re learning and will portray yourself, not some fake Bond’ish type fellow. You’ll create your own brand just like entertainment business created Bond. This is what women ultimately want in a guy – someone who is sure of himself. Everything else is circumstantial. You don’t need any pickup lines. You don’t need to study some certain lines to say for girl’s each reaction. Why? If you have the line of what you’re going to say ready in your head, then it will make you seem needy and especially fake. You will lose a portion of confidence and you’ll be just like a machine with no soul.

How to?

Well, that’s easy. 😉

How to notice in a club if a guy is into pickup or not? Just look for guys who just stand there not having fun, that’s like half the pickup community right there. They are quite easy to pick up with your eyes. Those are the guys who are scanning the room looking for potential „prey.“ They are not original and not being part of the vibe, instead they come off as extremely creepy and needy. They have no soul in their interactions. It’s like a machine has learned our language and now is trying to fit in. It might say the right things, but you’ll still see it’s a machine, not a real person just like with seduction the girls are able to spot a cool guy who is sure of himself from the crowd of admirers. A guy who is not thinking about what to say and does not care enough to be liked for not expressing his true personality, is being natural and most likely having fun. He does not care about some fucking opening sentence. No woman ever has told a guy no to sex after they had talked for hours just because he had a bad opening line.

When you’re real with the girl, then you will be successful one way or the other. You either get the girl or she rejects you for being you – that means she would have not liked you anyway. If you feel like you’re not successful because you’re natural state, your „realness“ is not cool, then you need to learn how to bring out the best in your personality, lose the small petty insecurities by either not caring about or just removing them (getting in shape etc.). Most importantly – read about game. Get yourself some self-help books, copy the knowledge into your brain and then apply it in your everyday life. This is what my book is for. To help those who seek it. The point is to get as much information as you can, but to not overthink it, because it leads to getting discouraged.

Number one rule is always taking action. Guys have different personalities, they have different attitudes, movement gestures, facial expressions, color, body sizes, accents and there are pickup artists with all of those different styles. What can we learn from that? Style, looks, status does not matter, taking action and approaching matters. So just jump in and stay on the course. Your mind will take care of the rest, I promise. You can be complaining at home or you can be out there doing it, giving your all and at the same time having the life that will lead to earning extreme value. At the end of the day the women want you to succeed with her. Why wouldn’t they? Why the fuck would women not want to meet a cool guy who shows them a good time and could be a potential partner? There is no why. They all do.

Pickup/game is sharing your personality the best way you can. In result of that you’ll find more than just one woman, who is attracted the you. It’s not about using a secret technique for manipulating girls into liking you. You’ll have losses and you will have victories. Game is about creating options for the victories.

Being labeled as a player is called having options, because I’m a man in his prime.

Overqualifing Yourself (quick answer)

When you look too cool or as a someone who has his shit together and you keep mentioning it to the girl, she will most likely feel like she has lower value than you and at that moment she will start to lose respect for herself. That makes her feel ashamed. And when someone is ashamed, the biological reaction is to avoid being close to someone. And that someone is going to be you.

The trick is not to not have your shit together. The trick is to not make her uncomfortable about her insecurities and be non judgemental while remaining awesome and not making a problem about her being lower value. You can even joke around and say you love her imperfection. Since you’re talking to her, you will probably have some interest in her, so it’s not even that close to a lie. This is why it’s called „game.“ It’s not serious. It’s playful and unexpected.

Why Doesn’t She Love Me?(quick answer)

“In the dating game and with social interactions in general it’s not about what we do. It’s about who we are. Who we are is how we feel.”

Let’s say a girl asks you to go dancing with her and you hate to dance. What will you do? My friends used to come up to me and ask such questions. My answer to them would always be the same. Do you want to dance? It’s as simple as that. Don’t be fake because the girl will know. And being fake means that you’re not happy with yourself. That’s not attractive. So even if you disagree with the girl and she ditches you for not dancing, it’s fine. If she ditches you for such a reason, then she did not like you in the first place! And if she does like you, then she will respect you for being you. If the attraction is real, then they always do.

Whether you have a question about game like should I do this or that, just ask yourself – Do you want to? It’s really that simple!

Don’t Give Up On Relationships

Back when I was on the quest to find a life partner, I stumbled into game. And I loved it. I loved it with all my heart. To me this was like an escape route from my pointless miserable life. Every time I went out I felt like a god for doing something most guys had no courage to even read about without feeling uncomfortable. I felt like I had a reason to live. Now I know, what that feeling was. It was my need to achieve something big. Something others could not do. To me it was picking up girls and learning about dating and the female mind in general. To you it could be anything. You know yourself better than I do. I’m here to offer you a light in this dark world of ours. You just need to place it and start walking to it.

While I was sleeping with different girls pretty much every single day, whether it be morning or night, I met a girl who I was really fond of. I had not felt that before. Not like this. I had my fair share of crushes, but something like this, no. Never. Time passed and we got into a relationship. Despite of that I still felt the need to keep gaming, picking up chicks. So I did. And I was great at it, because I lost the emotional leverage towards those other women. And since I didn’t care about the outcome since I was already in a relationship, those women in bars and clubs found that to be really attractive. Even my friends said I’ve became much more skilled than before.

Living on as a pick up artist made me question the strength of my relationship and put it to a test. I broke up with my girl and then after few weeks got back together again. Three times! I blamed it all on some other stuff such as whether, bad mood, the Nazis and so on. After our last breakup, I finally realised that I don’t need to talk to random women every single day to keep improving my life. I had grown into this life so much that I didn’t know any other way to live. Stopping everything would mean going back to my old life full of pain and misery. At least that’s how it felt from my point of view. Luckily I realised through many meditation sessions that I don’t need pickup. All I need to do is just improve on any other subject of my life such as staying fit, giving speeches or even just reading a lot. All of these things and many more can improve your life tremendously. Pickup is just one of them. The reason it did so many wonders for me was that it was my weakest point in my life and also the hardest thing I ever learned.

To this day I’m still together with my dream girl, the one I broke up with 3 times. Gosh. Despite all that, I needed those experiences. Getting a girl can show you what you’re doing right, but breakups can teach you what you’re doing wrong. The last one will always be more beneficial. We celebrate victories, but learn from failures.

Never give up on something you can’t go a day without thinking about” -Winston Churchill

Waiting For The Perfect Girl

Here’s the problem…

Many guys are stuck in parallel thinking. In this case, what I mean by that is living your life without taking any action in terms of dating and such and waiting for the „perfect“ girl to step into their life just like in a romantic comedy movie with Hugh Grant. I’m not here to diss those kinds of movies. They are fun to watch and give hope for many of us. Although, that kind of thinking is not healthy and sure as hell won’t help you to achieve your goals. If you are such a softy with your dating life, then it’s more common, that the behaviour of that type translates into other areas of your life. Let’s say you’re not working as hard as you could in the gym. You feel a little bit of tired and you quit. If that’s the case, then it’s highly likely that you will act such way with your job also. Not going to the limit and settling for mediocrity.

The more relevant problem for this topic with this type of behaviour is that even when that girl shows herself, then you would not know how to act the way she finds attractive, since you’ve been waiting for her for your entire life and haven’t talked much to the other girls, because in your mind you were not so interested in them and not „right“ for you.

Pretty much all my friends have this problem. They rationalise not talking to girls with girls not being as cute, as beautiful or nice as their taste desires. In result of that they do not get the reference experience of talking to girls or just have very little. So in their mind when the right girl comes, they can just chat her up and get her to like them. In reality that’s definetaly not the case. If you have not done pickup at any point of your life and been successful at it, then the chances are the girl is not going to like you because you just don’t know how to attract a woman. At least not a high quality woman. And their perfect woman is always labeled as high quality. Women can see what type of man you are by just listening to you and looking at your body language. Even if you had the courage to go and talk to the so-called girl of your dreams, why would she pick you? You have little experience, you probably don’t know how to trigger attraction and the only thing you can do somewhat right is to ask her out for a drink, because you read somewhere or saw in a movie that guys always buy girls drinks. Now that is just ignorance and screams of you being inexperienced. Why would a woman like that choose a man like you? Mostly they do it only for the „provider“ role which I explain in another chapter. That’s if you’re lucky…somewhat, because you attracted her for the wrong reasons and there can never be real love. It’s more likely that she does not want to have that kind of relations with you at all.

So what would be the ideal situation? Talking to every woman you see in terms of sexual encounters? Well, almost. The idea is to have an abundance of woman to choose from. Then you can actually see, what you like and not choose from the state of desperation and frustration. In this scenario you can actually figure out, what type of girl you like most and you can choose the coolest, beautiful and most appealing female companion. Most guys choose the woman who they can get. That’s desperation and feeling like you have no other option because no one else is going to love you. This is one of the main reasons, why there are so many divorces and men losing money to women who just married them for money.

So go out, talk to the cute girl at the coffee shop that you see every day, or the woman who works right next to you. Give them a try, see what they are like. Maybe you like some of them and maybe you even wanna see them again. Even better, maybe they even like you back! You will never know before you try. And when you meet that dream girl of yours, you’ll have the reference experiences and know how to not creep her out be actually a cool human being with being too needy, cocky or just simply stupid.

It is possible to truly find someone very special to you without learning pickup. But think of the chances of that happening. Pretty low. You can meet a woman alright. But the chances of her being the right one for you – really fucking slim. Also think of all the experiences that you’re going to miss when you don’t learn game. You will miss all the epic stories such as dating celebrities and all you will ever talk about is how you won that beerpong contest twenty years ago. That might not be the case for everyone, but it’s the reality for most of us. Nothing worth having comes easy and without failing countless times before.

Sure, you can fight for someone’s love who’s not that into you. Sure, you can spend months if not years winning some girl over. Sure, you can get offended if someone rejects you and not date anybody else for the next three years.

But hey, I’ve got something better.

Move the fuck on.